Step By Step, An NKOTBSB Story
by MsManda-D
Summary: An old friend is town, with Olivia's first love, who she's never met. She's hesitant when he shows an interest, they come from two different worlds. He's red carpet, she's sneaking in the back door. Are they meant to be, or is he simply to show her the 1?
1. Chapter 1

OLIVIA

"I wonder if that is still his same number," I thought to myself. I knew the chances were slim and winning the lottery was more likely, but I guess I figured what the hell and sent a text before I could talk myself out of it.

::Is this still Nick's number?::

While I waited on the reply that I didn't exactly expect I went about getting ready. Nick was changing his number every year or so and it'd been two years since we'd last talked. We did that, go years with no contact then BAM! All of a sudden we'd get in touch with each other and it was always as if no time had passed at all. We'd been best friends since we were six and I was always asked why, if we were best friends, did we lose touch and go through that all the time. If people only knew!

I was stingy about who I shared my secrets with and I guess I considered Nick a secret in a way. To me he was just this blond headed brat I met on the beach years and years ago who still after all these years just got me. To the world, well that was why he was my secret see. To the world he was a pop sensation and the heartthrob of the ever popular Backstreet Boys. I could never see him as famous, he was just this kid living out his dreams ya know?

I jumped when my cell barked at me, letting me know I had a text message. I picked it up and looked at the screen then smiled. I couldn't believe his number hadn't changed!

::Guess that would all depend on who is asking.::

Instead of replying with a text I snapped a picture and sent it. It wasn't a full minute til my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Olivia, I cannot believe you kept my number! How are you?" The smile in his voice brought a smile to my face. Before I could answer he said, "Are you still living in Atlanta?"

Laughing I said, "Yes, I am, and yes I will be at the show tonight!"Oh it was so good to hear his voice.

"Come now then," he said. "We can grab lunch at the Glen and catch up. It's been way too long, what almost three years now? After lunch you can come and watch the sound check okay?"

"Sounds great," I said. "I'll meet you at the Glen in say an hour? That okay?"

"Perfect! See you soon Liv."

Hanging up I smiled to myself and went about getting ready. I pulled my long chestnut brown curls up into a loose and messy ponytail and slid into my favorite outfit. Standing in front of the mirror I took in the one shouldered tank top and the white jean capris and wondered which shoes would be best. I slid into my teal and white sandals with the flower on them and decided I was ready. Lip gloss on, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

In my truck I took out my cell phone and called Grayson. He was far from my boyfriend though he was always trying to get to that place in my life. He was a good friend to me and that was, in my eyes, all he would ever be. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Olivia, what's up?"

"Just wanted to let you know that I will meet you at the arena for the show, I'm headed out now to meet up with an old friend who happens to be in town."

"Okay, sounds good. See you there babe."

I hated when he used those kinds of terms with me. Babe, baby, honey, blah blah blah! I always thought that those terms were for relationships, not friendships like ours.

Twenty minutes later I pulled into the Glen and handed off my keys to the valet. The concierge at held the door for me and I walked in and took a seat on a plush couch to wait for Nick. It was only minutes til I saw him, and man did he look good!

His arms circles my waist as he lifted me into a massive hug, spinning me around before sitting my feet back on the floor and kissing my cheek. Taking my hand and without a single word he led me to a table in the far back corner of the restaurant. Once we were seated he looked at me and smiled.

"You look amazing," he said. "So who's the lucky guy who has you these days?"

"I'm single but thank you," I said. "You're looking pretty damn good too. I'm so proud of you. You know this right?" I said this every single time I saw him but this time there was more behind it than ever before. "How's the waitress?"

"Eh, she's not mine anymore as of about a year ago. I guess the re-birth of the fame was just too much for her. You've been keeping up with me I guess?"

We ordered and I smiled, "Always. I saw your People article to. It scared me and it still does."

He took my hand and in one simple look he calmed me and my mind. After a pause he grinned at me. "So, you're finally getting to see New Kids in concert after all these years huh?"

"Yes! I cannot wait either, I feel like a little school kid or something right now."

He laughed out loud and said, "and let me guess, your still a Donnie girl right?"

"Of course, you know I've loved that man since I was what? Eight?"

We finished our meal and he stood. "Ready to head over to the arena?"

We left the hotel and climbed into my truck. "You just tell me where to go and park."

His cell rang and he handed it to me. "Answer it."

Looking at caller id I saw that it was Alex, who was, besides Nick, one of my very best friends. "Hello?"

"Oh, sorry was tryin to call someone else."

"Now Alex you know I'm just the girl you wanna talk to boo!"

It only took a second for him to realize it was me. "Oh my God! Liv! How the hell are you? Nick didn't say he was going to meet you for lunch just a friend!"

Laughing I said, "I guess I qualify as a friend now don't I? We are about to pull in and park at the arena! See you in a minute!" I hung up and parked in the bottom of the parking area before we climbed out of the truck and headed inside.

I'd never been in an empty arena and it looked so much bigger than it did when it was full of people. I didn't have a lot of time to take it all in before I was greeted by Brian, Leighanne, Bailey, and Alex. Alex stood back and let me say hello to the others then he scooped me up and gave me a hug that rivaled Nick's from earlier.

"How the in the hell are ya Liv," Alex said.

Laughing I told him I was wonderful and so glad to be seeing everyone. He raised his eyebrow in Nick's direction and I knew something was up. "What is it?"

"Did you let her know that the sound check is a group thing?"

"I think she kinda figured that AJ, but if you meant that it's a group thing that happens to include five other guys, well I guess I left that part out."

It took a minute to digest exactly what that meant but I shook it off as soon as it hit me. "I think I can handle a simple sound check you two goons."

"Besides," Leighanne said, "We have a lot of catching up to do. We won't even be paying attention to the sound check!"

"Oh she may not pay attention but I have a feeling that she's going to know just when things get going good," Nick said.

Sticking my tongue out at him as he walked away I had to laugh. Leighanne and I took one of thousands of empty seats and got lost in conversation before they guys even began. It had been far too long since she and I had gotten to talk.

It was about forty five minutes into the rehearsal when they stopped and took a break. Nick came over with AJ and sat down next to me and Leigh took Bayliegh to find some lunch next door at the CNN center.

"So I can only assume that you are getting excited about the next leg of sound check, right?"

"Leave her alone Alex, she is probably all school girl giggly on the inside about it and her nerves are making her sick."

"My nerves are just fine and I am totally not school girl giggly on the inside! Thanks for your concern but yeah, not needed guys." I smiled then and said, "I love this. I mean look at us, we've been separated for what? Two years this time? And look, it's like we've not gone a single day without talking."

Alex laughed, "That is true, but you know what, that's how you know the friendship is real." He hugged me before grabbing his water bottle and walking off.

I stood and was talking to Nick when I saw the other guys take the stage. I could have sworn I felt my heart stop beating for a moment and my skin felt fevered. That man was even more beautiful than I had imagined he would be.

Nick saw my face and smiled. "You okay Olivia?"

I just nodded and watched Donnie and the rest of the guys perform. "He's beautiful." It was barely a whisper as it escaped my lips.

It took a minute but eventually Nick and I fell back into an easy and steady conversation. I guess we must have lost track of time because soon it seemed we heard someone yell, "Hey Nick you can get ya game on later bro but in case you forgot we have a rehearsal goin on. Get ya ass up here."

"The Don calls, I must go," he said hugging me and heading up onto the stage.

NICK

"She is a friend man, trust it's not like that with me and her."

"Who is she then cause you two looked awfully cozy out there talkin," Donnie said.

"That girl has been my best friend since I was six years old, nothing at all like your thinking and I can promise you even IF I was looking for more it wouldn't happen with her."

"You might want to explain that to Lauren before she sees you two together then, it was a damn easy mistake to assume there was more. Now let's practice."

When practice was over and I had told Olivia goodbye til later I headed to the back of the arena. I was taking a long sip of water when I heard Donnie come up behind me and say, "Hey man, I didn't mean to come off like a hard ass back there okay?"

"Its fine really it is but believe me when I say she is only a friend. She only has eyes for one guy; it's been that way since we were kids."

He nodded and shrugged. "Hey, sometimes we find our soul mate and that is just how it is. They are the only one we need. At least she's happy in her relationship. Speaking of you need to explain her to Lauren. Otherwise I have the feeling you won't be too happy in your relationship when she sees you and ya friend there together."

"Whoah, first of all Olivia is single. She's technically not met the man she's been in love with some twenty plus years. As for Lauren, she's knows OF Olivia, but I do need to talk to her more about her I guess."

He raised his eyebrow and walked away. Just as he walked away Lauren came walking up. "Hey babe, how are you? Was rehearsal okay today?"

Forcing a smile I said, "It was fabulous as always. I'm good too, just tired. Thinking about a nap before show time."

"Oh, okay, well I guess I could go and rest with you then."

It hit me all of a sudden when she walked up that her and Olivia were not going to get along at all. Olivia was blunt and would call it as she saw it, she wouldn't be nice just because Lauren was my girlfriend. That wasn't her style. If she had something to say she would say it. God this was going to be explosive I thought to myself.

"Nick, hello! I'm standing here talking to you and it's like you're on some other planet!"

"Sorry, I told you I was tired. Guess I just spaced out."

"Yeah, you did! I was talking to you about the show and the after party. Are we going or not?"

I heaved a deep sigh. "I don't think I'm going. It's just too much on me I think. Besides, you know what happened the last time you went and the whole thing with the fans. You have got to get past that or it's going to be trouble for me."

"Well maybe those idiot sluts should respect that you have a girlfriend and stay the hell off of you. That would be a great place to start."

"Lauren those :idiot sluts: as you call them are my fans! They are the ones who allow me to do what I'm doing and they are the ones who allow me to buy you the things that I buy you. You'd think you would be more appreciative of them than you are."

She snorted and I just shook my head and walked toward the bus. I was laying down before she was even in the area.

OLIVIA

"Grayson! Hey, wait up," I called. I just caught sight of him as I was coming out of the arena. I ran over and smiled at him. "Have you been here long?"

The tall dark haired man shrugged his shoulders. "Half hour I guess. Did you um, just come out of the arena? I thought the doors were still locked?"

I took a deep breath and realized that now would most likely be a good time to explain things to him. "Gray, can we find somewhere a little more private to talk? Somewhere away from all these people?"

He gave me a look that was mixed with confusion and concern as he put his hand at my lower back. "Sure thing, lets head across the street to the parking area." Once we were there he turned to look at me and said, "Now, what's going on?"

With a deep breath I said, "Okay, so, well, you know I didn't grow up here in Atlanta right? Well, I grew up in Clearwater Florida and that is where my best years were I think."

"Okay, so are you tryin to tell me that you're moving back or something? What are you saying?"

"Ugh, I don't know how to say it without coming right out and saying it I guess. My best friend since childhood is Nick Carter. He was the old friend in town who I met up with for lunch today and then he invited me to watch the sound check. There's not a ton of people who know about the friendship."

"Wait, you're telling me that you know Nick Carter and have since you were a kid? As in Backstreet Boy, famous blond guy?"

I shrugged and nodded. "I guess that would be the general consensus but it's not the way I see it in my mind. To me these guys are not famous people or "Backstreet Boys" they're just people. I see Nicky, Alex, Bri, and D., not anyone else."

Letting out a breath that hissed through his teeth Grayson said, "Have to admit that was the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth, but okay. No wonder you didn't want to be in that mob of screaming girls and risk being over heard."

I smiled at him and was grateful for his understanding. "Yeah, not the mob I'd like to deal with! Looks like they opened the doors, let's go. Oh, and by the way, our seats are ridiculously amazing."

He put his hand on the small of my back as we walked back across the street to the arena and inside. I let it go, even though it was a little too intimate, to possessive really, for my liking. One of these days Grayson was going to have to learn that we were nothing more than friends and would never be more than friends.

To say that we suffered through the first act would be kind. It was horrendous! The girl screeched through one song after another and they all seemed to have the same beat to them. It was a slow death to helpless ears, a musical train wreck! Finally she was done, a cat's life was saved I'm certain, and Jordin Sparks came out to rock the stage. Finally some talent in this place I thought. She looked amazing and it was no wonder why she won American Idol. I was highly impressed with her performance. As good as she was though I was eager and ready for the main act. Time seemed to be crawling! She sang her last song and I applauded, not because it had been so incredibly great, which it was, but because finally it was time for the boys!

The stage went dark and the arena erupted in the loudest sound I had ever heard in my entire life. The excitement was palpable. Everyone was on their feet, screams, claps, stomps, all sounded out loud, ready for the headliners of the night. The opening montage ran, and the girls screamed right where I expected them too, for Nick, Brian, Joey and Jordan. The rest got love too but not nearly on the level of the "heartthrobs". Donnie's picture popped up and I admit that I let out a totally fan girl scream too. Lord but that man was beautiful. I think I may have held my breath as I waited for the curtain to drop, and when it did it all came out in a loud swoosh. There were all nine guys on the platform, in black, light shining down and still I could pick out my man. I'd swear to you there was electricity running through that building, so strong you could literally feel it.

Nick caught my eye from his place on the stage during one of the songs and he winked up at me. I just smiled and watched him as he did what he loved so much. I was so incredibly proud of him, AJ too, and my smile reflected that. I was lost in the songs when they slowed it down, grabbed the stools and did some ballads. At the end of one song I saw Nick and AJ playing rock, paper, scissors, and I knew it was time for I'll Never Break Your Heart. I laughed because the winner was clear as the guys took to the audience in search of a girl to serenade. AJ came up to me and held his hand out for mine. "Let's go beautiful," he said and I blushed in the dark arena as I followed him down to the stage.

He kissed my cheek and smiled at me as they started to sing. He knew that I loved his voice and always had. He had a raspy quality to it that seemed to always be able to soothe me no matter what the situation was, without fail. As the song came to an end he handed me a single long stem red rose, which all the others received as well, and then took my hand to escort me to the steps of the stage. Nick stopped us and gave me a tight hug. Before he released me he whispered in my ear, so softly I could barely hear him, "Just remember to breathe Liv." I gave him a confused look before heading down the stairs and then back to my seat. Remember to breathe? Lord that boy had really lost his mind. How was I going to forget that? Shaking my head I took my seat and got back to enjoying the show.

When Donnie took center stage to sing Cover Girl, I have to admit the kid in me took over and I squealed with everyone else. I was so wrapped up in the performance that I barely noticed when his hands went to the neck of the black tank top that he was wearing and slowly, almost seductively (okay maybe only to me but my gah it was most definitely seducing!) ripped the shirt, throwing it into the crowd. My breath caught in my lungs, my heart stopped, and I swear to you my knees turned into a jellified substance that had less firmness than a bowl of wobbling jello. He stood on that stage in his jeans, bare chested, and breathtakingly gorgeous.

When I finally could think straight again I realized that my cell phone was vibrating in my pocket. I took it out to check it just to be sure it wasn't someone calling from home, and saw that it was a text from Nick.

::Just breathe…NGC::

::Screw you Nickolas!::

::Haha oh just wait and like I said, don't forget to breathe.::

Shoving my phone back into my pocket I turned my attention back to the stage. Donnie was just putting his jacket back on, skin shimmering with sweat still showing, and the rest of the guys were out to do the next song. As they began to sing tonight they headed into the audience and before I could blink Donnie was in front of me.

"His chest, and those abs, I swear I'd eat dinner off of him," I thought to myself. Beside me I heard Grayson saying something and it didn't register. Donnie looks at me and smiles.

"Is that true ma?" I looked him then at Grayson wondering just what had been said after all. Donnie laughed his amazing laugh and took my hand in his. He placed my palm on his chest and I could feel his heart beating beneath his skin. My knees wanted to buckle but I forced myself to stand firm. When he ran my hand down across his abs however it got harder to stand. When I felt his belt buckle beneath the skin on my palm I knew for sure that I was going to fall over. His smile was almost my undoing. When he let go of my hand he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a card and handed it to me. With a wink he turned and went back to the stage.

Grayson leaned in close to me and said, "You okay Olivia?" I nodded and he asked, "What did he give you?"

I looked down at the card in my hand and was shocked. Nick had to of been behind this mess. "It's a vip invitation to his sold out after party tonight after the show." I saw Grayson's eyes cloud over and could tell he would have something to say about the invitation when this show was over. For now I stuffed it in my back pocket and felt my cell vibrating once again. I pulled it out and saw that it was once again Nick.

::I'd say breathe but money says what you really need right now is a change of clothes::  
>::Shut up jackass. Did you put him up to that?::<p>

::To what? The whole touch him thing? Nope can't take the credit that was all him.::

::No the after party invitation.::

::Olivia I'm guilty of many things in my life, but that isn't one of them.:: As I was reading that text he was taking the stage again.

When the show was over Grayson looked at me and said, "So are you really planning on going to this party by yourself?"

I shrugged my shoulders and felt the smart ass in me rising to the top. "Well I mean technically I won't be alone. It is sold out, Donnie will most definitely be there, and I'm sure that Nick and AJ will be there too."

He hung his head and let out a loud sigh. "Olivia you're ex-boyfriend is making threats to your life. You can't be out just running around at all hours of the night alone. No one would be with you when you get home."

"Look, I'll be fine," I said. "I can't stop living my life just because I have shitty taste in guys now can I? I'll talk to Nick about it all, get him to take me home and check things out before he leaves. I'll be just fine. He won't let anything happen to me. I promise."

Grayson threw his hands up in surrender knowing this was a battle he wouldn't be winning. "Fine! Just call or text me whenever you get home," he said before turning and walking out of the arena.

NICK

I walked out into the empty arena and smiled at Olivia. "Hey there lady, you ready for the after party?"

She nodded and bit down on her bottom lip, a sign that had always meant she was nervous. "Liv, don't worry about it. You will be fine. It's just a casual, fun, party atmosphere at a local club. You're going to dance, have a drink, and enjoy the night. Now come on, let's go." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and led her out of the arena to her truck.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

NICK

Halfway to the club my cell phone went off. I dug it out of my pocket and felt myself cringe seeing Lauren's name. I should have known she would be texting by now. Explaining my way out of this was going to be more difficult than I'd like. Before I read her text I decided to send Brian a text.

::Hey man, not feeling Lauren coming tonight to the after party, especially with Olivia here. Hate to pull you into it but can I just tell her I'm going to your place to check out some things in your studio and will be back in the morning when it's time to head out?::

It wasn't a full minute before he replied saying it was fine with him. I checked Lauren's text then.

::Where the hell are you Nick? The show has been over going on an hour now and you're not in the bus or anywhere to be found.::

With a deep breath I replied, ::Hey sorry I thought I'd sent the text but I guess it didn't go through. I'm headed out to Brian's place. He's got some new things goin in his studio and he wanted me to check em out. I'll be back in the morning before we head out. Get some sleep::

She was going to be pissed but she'd get over it. We pulled into the parking area for the club and hopped out of the truck. Olivia was visibly nervous and I couldn't help thinking it was cute. I grabbed her hand and said, "Come on Liv, let's go on in."

I felt her tug on my hand and turned to see her feet planted firmly on the ground, her body unmoving. "Olivia, it's a big party in there, no reason to be nervous, I swear it to you."

She shook her head. "That's not it Nick, I need to talk to you. I promised Grayson I would and I guess you need to know about it all too."

"What's wrong," I asked her. I could see her face and tell something was bothering her.

"My ex-boyfriend, he's been making threats lately, and Gray just thinks if you or someone saw me home it'd be best."

"Threats," I asked moving closer to her. "What kind of threats exactly? Threats like he's going to slit your tires, or threats like he's going to slit you?" She looked at me and I had my answer. She wouldn't be out of my sight tonight, for damn sure. I swallowed hard at the anger boiling up inside of me. "I'll take care of you tonight. I'll see you home and everything to, no worries. Let's go on in and have some fun now."

"I doubt that he will be showing up here, really I do and I just one night of not worrying about him showing up and ruining the fun."

I pulled her in for a hug and put a small kiss on her head. "Liv, listen to me," I said barely above a whisper, "you are going to go in there and have an amazing time and not worry about anything at all. No one will be ruining anything. I promise you that." Taking her hand in mine I led her to the door.

I walked in and felt more resistance on Olivia's end. I turned and saw the bouncer had put his hand up preventing her from coming inside. "Dude, she's with me."

"Sorry Mister Carter, but this place is sold out and fire code says I can't let anyone else in. Only way this lady is getting in is with a pass."

"Well you big moron, if you would have given me just a minute I happen to have one. Oh but no! You just assume that I don't and proceed to push me out of the way. Really, get some people skills jackass," Olivia said as she all but shoved her ticket in the muscled guys face. I had to laugh because she hadn't changed a bit. She still had all the spunk and fire in her that she'd had as a kid on the beach, insulted that kids assumed she was my girlfriend because we played daily. I shook my head and wondered what she'd think to know Donnie had thought that same thing.

"Are we going in knucklehead or are you going to stand there with that idiot grin on your face all night?"

"Ahh Olivia dear I think the grin is the way to go." She smacked me in the shoulder and headed in with me close on her heels.

OLIVIA

This place is so loud I can't hear myself think, I thought to myself. Well I heard that at least. I ordered a drink at the bar, something girly and fruity, and then turned to Nick. "Lead the way hotshot." I had to yell to be heard over the music.

I followed him up a flight of stairs, stopping at the top to stare at the sea of females. All the chicks here for one man, really it was just ridiculous. Then my eyes found that man. My breath caught and I nearly dropped my drink. His beauty was breathtaking, every time I saw him. His smile had an effect on me, making my knees literally go weak, causing my heart to speed up beyond anything I'd known before. My reaction to him was not normal. It couldn't be.

Sticking close to Nick we made our way to the stage where Donnie was standing next to the DJ wearing a white V-neck t-shirt with a pair of jeans, just baggy enough to be sexy, and that black Boston ball cap. We got to where he stood, up above us, and Nick hopped on the stage with him. I smiled because I knew that they were both doing what they loved. That made anyone attractive, well okay, maybe not anyone, but these two at least. Donnie looked down and caught my eye. He smiled at me, winked, and turned his attention back to the audience. If it hadn't of been so packed in I think I'd have passed out.

After a song or two the guys disappeared off stage and were gone for about ten minutes. I grabbed a passing bar girl and got myself another drink. Tonight was going to be just fine.

NICK

"Dub, that girl at the show, the one you gave the ticket to for tonight?" He nodded and I said, "Look man, she's my best friend, I've known her since we were six years old. I don't want you playing game with her alright?"

He shook his head. "Man, I didn't know who it was when I gave her that ticket, not that it would have changed things even if I'd have known. She was a beautiful girl, and she had a beautiful smile. She got my attention, so she got a ticket. Simple as that, no games. I've outgrown that shit anyway man."

"I didn't mean anything bad; just… well I guess it's best to say that she isn't your run of the mill fan girl. She's not a one night good time; she's a take time and get to know her kinda girl." With that I walked away and was out on the dance floor with Olivia before he made it back out on stage.

She had made her way more to the back of the room, had found a chair and taken a seat. She was sipping on another drink, and she was wearing the faint hint of a smile. I sat down beside of her without saying anything and soaked in the atmosphere. When Donnie took the stage again I swear I heard her sigh, even over all the screams and squeals.

"Nick, he's absolutely beautiful. Every single thing about him is beautiful."

I smiled and took her hand. "Let's dance lady, now." I led her to the dance floor and we danced for what seemed like hours and yet in reality it was barely a full hour. I couldn't help but wonder if he would talk to her tonight, acknowledge her in some way beyond a smile from stage that he'd given almost every other female in the room.

A slow song came on and she walked back to the seats in the back of the room. Before I could ask if she was ready to head home Donnie walked up, hands in his pockets. Signaling the waitress for a drink he smiled.

"How's it goin man," he said shaking my hand.

"Good, Donnie this is Olivia, the one friend who's there for me no matter what. I don't think you two have been properly introduced." I watched her closely as he took her hand and smiled straight into her eyes.

"No I don't think we have. How are you tonight ma?" he said and I think at that moment Olivia melted and all rational thought left her brain. "It's my pleasure Olivia. Have you enjoyed yourself tonight?"

She shook her head and I saw her say definitely more than I heard her. I hung around a few more minutes until Donnie finished off his drink, and when ordering another asked what she would like to drink. I grabbed my Coke and walked away smiling.

Donnie

The bartender was fast getting us our drinks and I leaned into this beautiful woman sitting beside me. "I could use some fresh air what about you?" She nodded and I stood and led her to a stairway in the back corner of the room. I let her go up the stairs first, if only to watch her walk up them. Holding the door at the top for her we stepped out onto the rooftop. There was a nice lounge area set up going on, sofa, lamps, and an outdoor fire place. Of course as hot as Atlanta was that wasn't needed.

Leading me to the sofa we took a seat and I turned to face her. She smiled staring out at the city lights. "It's gorgeous up here at night, the stars are bright, and the skyline, even when your right in the middle of it is amazing," she said.

I took a sip of my Vodka and watched her silhouette. "It's definitely beautiful up here, no doubt. So, you're friends with Nick huh?"

She turned to look at me then. "Yeah, he's my oldest friend, best friend really."

"So you grew up in Florida I'm assuming. What brought you to Atlanta?"

She shrugged her tan shoulders. "I guess technically I've always live here. My time in Clearwater was nothing permanent. I think at times I'm much more suited to the beach though."

The image of her in a bathing suit, sand between her toes, her running into the water's edge and letting the wave's crash on her smooth legs took root in my mind and I tried to shake it. "You visit there often then?"

"Yeah, I try to, have a place there, but can't seem to get down much anymore."

I stared at her, and as I did she became more beautiful to me by the second. She was so much more intoxicating than any drink I had consumed tonight. "Tell me about you Olivia."

"What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want to share with me, who you are, what you like, what you don't. What do for a living? Tell me who you are."

She was silent a minute as she looked out over the city. Finally she said, "I've lived here for thirty one years and I've never seen Atlanta this way before. Everyone should experience this. I guess you can say I'm a simple girl really."

"I doubt seriously that you're simple. I'm almost certain that there's many layers and facets to you."

Smiling she looked down, almost shy. "Maybe so, then again maybe not. I'm a country girl, love my football on Saturdays, wrestling on Mondays, a good book in a hot bath full of bubbles, hikes in the woods, cooking, and I love music. I'm a mom, have an eight year old daughter who just happens to be my world." She stopped and took a sip of her drink. "I guess this is where I'd normally ask the guy about him, but you're not my normal guy, huh?"

I laughed and said, "No, I guess not. Did you have any problems convincing your boyfriend to let you come here tonight without him?"

"Grayson isn't my boyfriend, even though if he had his way we'd be halfway to the alter by now. I'm doing the single thing, focusing on me and my daughter. I've got too much to do to worry about boys who always hurt you in the end anyway."

"Well there's your problem right there, you're dealing in boys instead of men. You're much to pretty to be single." She smiled and I could tell she was blushing. I had to fight the urge to reach out and brush the stray strand of hair off of her face as the breeze blew it gently. A slow song started to play in the club below and its music drifted up to us. I stood and held out a hand to her. "Dance with me," I said.

OLIVIA

"Dance with me," he said. It came out in barely a whisper and I thought for a minute I heard him wrong. "Come on, I haven't had one decent dance all night, dance with me." His hand was out waiting on mine to take it. My stomach was engaged in full-fledged acrobatics as the skin of my palm met his. I stood and he pulled me into his arms and began to sway slowly to the faint beat.

I don't think my mind fully registered that I was dancing with Donnie Wahlberg, the guy who'd I'd been crushing on and loving for almost twenty five years. Surely if it did my knees and legs would fail me.

"Are you always so shy and quiet?"

"No, not ever really. I guess you just have that effect on me." Holy hell, I was not only slow dancing on a roof looking over Atlanta with this man, I was flirting with him! I had to of lost my mind.

"Is that a good thing, or should I save what's left of my pride and make my exit now," he said with a smirk.

Shaking my head lightly I smiled, "No need for an exit at all." He pulled me closer then and I could feel his breath at my ear, trickling down my neck. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my stomach clench. There was no way on earth he could know how incredibly sexy he was, or what the heat of his breath on my skin was doing to me. Uncontrollably I leaned in closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I could make some completely lame ass comment on how great your hair smells but it wouldn't be what I want to do." His lips were like butterfly wings on my ear as he spoke. "This however, is exactly what I would like to do," he said seconds before his lips touched the tender spot of my neck, right behind my ear, and my knees buckled. His lips trailed down my neck and his hand came to my chin.

He tilted my head up to look at him. He looked into my eyes and whispered, "I wonder if you hear that you are beautiful often enough." Then his lips lightly brushed against mine. I felt foolish when a sigh slipped out.

He took my face in his hands, nice strong hands, and he let his lips find mine. I held onto his arms, my mind spinning out of control, my stomach hosting a party for the butterflies he'd set loose there. He traced my lips with the tip of his tongue before deepening the kiss. My nerves were tingling and I swear to you that I could fly I was so high off of his kiss.

When he pulled away my breath rushed out of my lungs and my head spun. "My God," I said.

"I'm sorry," he said leaning his head against mine, still holding my face in his hands.

"I'm not," I managed. Jesus had that just happened? My heart was pounding, my thoughts were running wild.

After a minute he whispered, "So, if you're not sorry then this will be okay, right," he said as his lips once again found mine. I couldn't stop the sigh that tried to escape as I melted against him, unable to do anything but return his kiss.

When our tongues met I felt his body soften and his hands found their way to my hair. He freed the long locks from the ponytail holder and tangled his hands in the thickness. He tugged at my hair as his teeth caught my bottom lip and tugged before he moved to cover my neck and shoulders in his hot kisses, setting my body on fire. After a minute his lips were back on mine and his hands grabbed my waist lifting me off the ground. My legs instinctively went around his waist and I heard him sigh as his whole body responded to the close contact.

He carried me back to the sofa and sat so that I was on his lap. His hands brushed my bare arms and down my back. His fingertips landed softly on my hips, brushing bare skin there making me squirm.

"You keep doing that, and I have a firm feeling this will end up being more than one incredible fucking kiss," he murmured, barely taking his lips from mine.

He had no way to know that that one foul word turned me on so much, as if I wasn't already turned on. My mind went blank and the alcohol took over my body. My hips moved and I was squirming again in his lap. His body responded just how I knew it would at this point.

"Jesus," he hissed between clenched teeth, smoothly flipping our position so that he was on top of me, pinning me to the sofa. "If we were sober, this might go differently. I never do this anymore, never, but damn it all woman you have me wanting you so fucking bad." His lips crushed mine hard and I pressed my body to his.

He pulled back and looked at me, his hands on his head. "Tell me I'm not taking advantage of you, that you will not regret anything that happens on this roof in the morning."

"At this point the only thing I'm going to regret is you not taking advantage of me." When he still looked as though he thought I was just talking I smiled. "Look ask Nick tomorrow if I'll regret this, for now, don't stop what you were doing, please."

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down to me, and before I knew it our clothes were in a pile on the ground and I would have sworn that there were fireworks going off all over the city. There on that Atlanta rooftop I had the best sexual experience of my entire life, with a man I thought I'd never meet, much less find myself skin to skin with, sweating and giving the stars a show.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

He held me when it was over and kissed me softly. I couldn't even begin to put my emotions and thoughts into words at that moment. Realization started to set in and I could feel my heart beat speed up all over again.

"My guess is Nick is probably wondering where in the hell you are right about now. He seems pretty protective."

Oh God! Nick! I'd all but forgotten him being downstairs in the club. I fixed my hair and pulled the strap of my tank back onto my shoulder. I reached out for my purse and Donnie's hand fell on mine.

"You have to know that I do not do this all the time. That isn't the kind of guy that I am, at least not anymore. I've grown up a lot since the last tour go round." I nodded and felt myself blush. His lips brushed my forehead and he stood, never letting go of my hand. He pulled me to my feet and smiled down at me. "So, if I give you my number, the chances of getting a call would be what exactly?"

I smiled up at him again, biting my bottom lip and then I looked away. I didn't want him to think that I was easy. I definitely wasn't even though tonight had been amazing. He laughed softly and led me back down the stairs and back into the club. The noise drowned out all my thoughts, a fact that I was grateful for at the moment. The fans started coming up and wanting pieces of Donnie's time so our connection was broken and before long there was an entire dance floor between us.

NICK

"Hey Liv, I was wondering where in the hell you'd gotten off to. Did you and Dub get a chance to talk without the craziness of this place?"

She looked down at her toes and immediately I knew there was something different about her. She looked happier than I'd seen her in years. Finally I saw her nod and smile softly. "Good," I said. "You ready to head home?"

She looked at her watch and seemed shocked at the time. "I didn't realize it was so late. I guess I do need to get home. Of course if you're not ready, it's cool."

I took her by her arm and turned her toward the door. "We can go its fine. I need to get some sleep at some point anyway." I smiled at her and winked. I caught Donnie's eye across the room and held up my hand to signal we were leaving. He waved our way and I watched as Olivia waved back and smiled at him. All I could think was that if he hurt her, I'd have to hurt him.

Once out in her truck I could see her face more clearly. She was flushed and looked like she'd been crying. "Hey, you okay? You look a little flushed, watery eyed."

She smiled at me and shook her head. "I'm fine, just tired I guess. And maybe it was the air up on the roof that has me all flushed. It was wonderfully nice up there tonight." She dug in her purse for her keys and held them out to me. "Would you drive please? I'll tell you where to go; I'm just tired I guess. Please? Besides, you've not had anything to drink, I have."

I took the keys from her and hugged her. "You tell me where to go and I will get you there."

Twenty five minutes later we pulled into her drive way. "You've done good for yourself from the looks of it here."

"Eh, it's a family place that I had no clue was a family place until I was suckered into coming back here to take care of my grandmother. This was a part of the bribe I guess you could say. Come on in, I'll fix you something to eat or drink."

Half an hour later we were sitting at the high top table in her kitchen eating grilled cheese sandwiches just like we used to do when we were kids. "So are you going to fill me in on what happened on that rooftop?"

Her face went bright red and she looked away. "Nothing, we just talked is all."

"Olivia you still suck when it comes to lying, you know that don't you?" She didn't look my way still and suddenly I knew something had happened up there. "Liv, did you two… well, I mean did you guys… ah hell! You two got it on didn't you?"

OLIVIA

"NICK! Of course not! You know that I'm not a groupie kind of girl." He didn't believe a word that I was saying. Not one single word that left my lips.

"I know you're not a groupie and I never suggested that you were. Look, it's not a big deal if you did. I know what that guy has always meant to you. I know that at least for you it wasn't like that at all."

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me. I turned to him and smiled. "It was the most amazing experience in my life. Well with the exception of my kids, but you know what I mean."

He smiled down at me then glanced over my shoulder. "Oh man, I didn't realize it was already five in the morning. I need to get going. Promise me that you will come out to another show, or even just to hang out. I've missed you and I know that the guys have too."

I smiled at him and put a kiss on his chin. "I will, promise."

He left out when the cab got there and I grabbed the leash and took my dog, Rockstar out to use the bathroom. Just as we were about to head back into the house I heard someone behind me. I started to turn, "Nick did you…"

Before I could finish my sentence a hand covered my mouth and a low voice told me not to scream. I didn't recognize the voice but I searched my memory still to find some kind of memory of it. Nothing came to mind at all. I had dropped the leash and Rockstar had ran when he grabbed me, I was literally completely alone with this crazy person.

His hand found the bottom of my shirt and I pushed at him to free myself. That wasn't going to be happening with him at all. No one would ruin this night no matter how hard they tried. "Leave me alone," I screamed.

"Bitch I told you not to scream." His gloved hand connected to my cheek and I fell to the ground, stars blinded my eyes. I felt my wrist connect with the bottom step of my porch and instinctively I tried to pull myself up the stairs and away from my attacker. "Not so fast you slut." Grabbing my ankle he jerked me back to the ground and I landed hard on a rock. The air flew out of my lungs and I gasped for breath as he tried his best to strip me down so that he could rape me.

Just as he was ripping my shirt I heard Rockstar barking and he grabbed onto the attackers arm, sinking his teeth into flesh. Rockstar didn't let go until I was free and almost in the house. He ran to catch up with me and when we were both inside I closed and locked the door. I called 911 and sat in my living room with a cup of hot tea til the cops arrived.

NICK

"Hey Nick, there's some chick on your phone who says she has to talk to you, it's important." Lauren called. I hated it when she answered my phone, we'd discussed it but she didn't seem to give a damn. Before she handed it to me she said, "Who the hell is Olivia Nick?"

"My best friend, I've told you about her, don't act like you're clueless Lauren. Give me my phone, now." I jerked the phone out of her hand and said, "Liv, hey you, how's it going? You process last night in your mind yet?"

"Nick, I was attacked last night after you left."

"WHAT! Oh my God, Olivia are you okay? What happened?"

I could hear her voice shake as she spoke. "I took Rockstar out and as I was going back into the house I heard someone behind me. I thought it was you, that you'd left something or something. He tried to rape me, I ended up hurting my wrist, some cuts and scrapes. A few stitches in my wrist but all in all I'm fine. Well, no, that's not true. I'm shaken to the bone, scared really."

I should have stayed a few more minutes. Damn it! "God, Liv, I'm so sorry, I should have taken the dog out for you. Is there anyone you could stay with? Someone who could stay with you until you know the guys been caught?"

"No, only Grayson and I can't stay with him Nick. I was thinking I might take you up on that offer to come to another show or two. Get out of town ya know?"

"We are in Texas tomorrow. I'll get you a plane ticket out there, then you can catch a ride with us to the next city. Are you sure you're okay?"

She paused and then spoke. "Yes, I'll be fine. I just want to get out of here for a few days. I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up and stood in place until a voice broke me from my thoughts. "Should have stayed," Lauren said, clearly pissed from her eaves dropping on my conversation. "What the hell do you mean you should have stayed Nickolas? You told me you were at Brian's place. You lied to me? Are you fucking her Nick?"

"Not now Lauren, and no I'm not fucking her. I have you for that, remember?" I pushed by her and walked off the bus, thankful it was parked.

I saw Jordan and called out, "JK, where's Donnie?"

"In the bus."

I climbed into the bus and called his name. He came out of the back and smiled. "Dude, why the yelling?"

"Let's start with you hurt Olivia and I will break your damn face. I know you two slept together last night and I also know that you have no possible way to know how much that meant to her. That all being said, she's coming out tomorrow for a few days. She was attacked last night when I left."

I actually saw concern register on his face. "She what? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, said she has some stiches in her wrist. Apparently he tried to rape her and she fought back."

"Have they caught the son of a bitch?"

I sat down and put my head in my hands. "I don't know. We didn't go into specifics on it all, she just said she needed to get away. I should have stayed a little longer, made sure it was all okay." That was when it fully hit me that Lauren had heard my end of the conversation and was pissed. "DAMN IT!"

"Man you had no way to know. It's not your fault."

"No beyond all that, Lauren heard the conversation. She knows I was there last night now."

Donnie shook his head and grinned. "Where did she think you were? You didn't tell her you were going to the party?"

"Hell no! I told her I was at Brian's checking out some new stuff in his studio and would just stay the night. Damn it!"

"I think you need to get back over there and deal with ya girl," he said patting my shoulder before walking away.

I walked back to the other bus and before she had a chance to say a word I said, "Listen, she went to the after party last night, I went to Brian's place like I said. She had a few drinks and didn't want to drive home so I drove her home. She's been getting threats from an ex so I checked out the house to be sure it was safe. I left and within minutes she was attacked outside." I saw Brian over her shoulder. He nodded as if to say he got it and he had my back.

"Nick, if I find out you are lying to me, you will regret it, and so will she."

I stepped closer to her. "You threaten me all you want to, but you leave her out of this Lauren. I mean it. She's got nothing to do with us at all. She's been a friend since we were eight years old. Keep her name out of your mouth." I turned and walked away without another word.

OLIVIA

"Hey Nick, it's me, just wanted to let you know that my plane landed. You told me to call and I've been trying but I can't seem to get you to answer the phone. I guess I'll grab a cab to the arena. See you later." I hung up and slipped my cell back into my purse. I turned and went to walk to the customer service desk to ask about a cab and stopped in my tracks. My breath caught in my lungs and I knew I was dreaming.

"Donnie?"

"I told Nick I'd get you today, hope you don't mind." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me to the exit. "You okay today?"

"He told you huh? I'm fine really. Just feel like I've been in a car wreck is all. I'll heal and be right as rain in no time." I smiled at him. I had to be dreaming. "Why did you volunteer to get me?"

He smiled this half smile and looked down at me. "I don't know, maybe I wanted to be the first one to see that smile of yours."

I melted right there. But he did get smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Two months later….

NICK

"I cannot believe that the tour is coming to end. It's been so amazing getting to ride along and experience all that I have."

"We have loved having you here, you know that. It's going to suck not seeing you as often once it's done though. It's been nice having my best friend around again."

"We don't have to lose contact again you know. That is up to us."

"I know, and we won't. I won't let it happen."

"NICK! SHOWTIME, LET'S MOVE!"

"He still doesn't know you're here does he," I asked her in reply to Donnie's yell. She shook her head no and I let out a sigh. "Stop avoiding him for all of your insane reasons please. He's driving us all crazy wanting to talk to you at least."

"Fine, I'll see him on their first break. Now go, they are waiting on you."

"Fine, but you better see him or I'll tell him you're here." Kissing her cheek I headed out to the stage.

OLIVIA

My hands were sweaty and I was not looking forward to Donnie's break, yet at the same time it couldn't come soon enough. It wasn't that I didn't like him, or have feelings for him, just the opposite in fact. I guess it was more that it just felt like something was missing and that something, whatever it was, seemed to feed my doubts.

When the Kids came off the stage Jon spotted me first and his face lit up in a smile. I held my finger to my lips and signaled him to be quiet before I ducked out of sight. I peeked around the wall that I had slipped behind to see Donnie and the guys changing shirts for their next set and my breath caught at the sight of him. He was indeed the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my life and that was something I couldn't deny. Age looked good on him.

Just as he was buttoning the shirt I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Hey there handsome."

His fingers intertwined with mine and I knew he was wearing a smile. "Hey there yourself ma," he said. "When did you get here?"

As he turned to smile down at me, placing his kiss on my lips I said, "I've been here all afternoon. Just thought I'd lay low a bit."

"Nice, and it's nice to see you too. I've missed that pretty face."

We talked quietly until he had to go back on stage and I smiled as I watched the boyband super group from the wings. They all looked wonderful and this was going to be an excellent night no matter what happened.

By the time the show was over and everyone was ready to head to the hotel and relax Alex had already requested a talk with me. So when we finally made it back to the hotel he and I went out to the pool and sat with our feet dangling in the water.

"What's with you Olivia," he asked me. "I see you face and see so much happiness on it but at the same time it's like I'm not seeing something that should be there and I can't place it."

I sighed and leaned my head onto his shoulder. "Alex how is it after all this time you still get me so damn well? I mean you hit it right on the head of what I'm feeling and I didn't even have to say a word."

"I guess it may just be because I've been there. I've been in that place that you think you want to be and belong in and only find out that it isn't quite what you'd thought it would be when you get tossed in the middle of it all."

I wiped my hands on my thighs and acted like I was standing up. "Well since you already know what the issue is I guess this talk is done." We laughed as I lowered myself back down beside him. "These past few months have been like a dream Alex. I mean come on, me and Donnie? That doesn't happen! And it's been great really, but I just don't know… it just feels like there's something that should be there that isn't."

"I can understand that, I've been right in that spot before."

"I don't know, I guess maybe I just need to stop running from it and embrace whatever it is we have going on and maybe that will let it all fall into place like it should. Then again, I don't think it will. I love that man, have since I was eight. Only now I'm asking myself do I love him or do I love the thought of him."

"What do you mean the thought?"

I stared out into the dark night and wished for my gut and heart to feel anyway but how it felt right then. "Like, maybe I was in love with the celebrity that I saw, but the real Donnie is more of a friend."

"A friend with benefits of course," Alex smirked.

I punched him in the arm but had to laugh. "Amazing benefits actually, but yes, friends with benefits none the less. One thing I don't have any doubt of though is the fact that he is meant to be in my life. That much I'm positive about."

His arm went around my shoulders and he pulled me into him. "Liv, listen to me. You have a heart that any man would be blessed to have entrusted to him. You have it guarded for good reasons and it's understandable that you have doubts about anyone, especially someone in this line of work, with his history. Of course his history really is just that, and he's a great guy, but still I get it. If there is any niggling doubt do not, for any reason, give your heart away. Your gut won't steer you wrong, and your mind, it's pretty sharp to, so if you think something is missing you have two choices. Find it, or stop worrying about it."

I looked up at him and smiled. "When did you get so damn smart about matters of the heart mister?"

"When my heart got sick and damn tired of being used," he said.

I smiled and stood. "Thank you for talking to me. I've missed this with you. I'll see you in the morning before you head home."

I was maybe ten steps away when he called my name. I stopped and turned.

"Ask yourself this Olivia, can you see yourself marrying him? Can you see yourself with him for the rest of your life and see you happy with it? Answer that and you might just find your answer to the rest."

I nodded and headed to the room that I was supposed to be sharing with Donnie that night, and against my will my brain started turning Alex's question over and over, searching out the answers.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Donnie

"How'd the talk go with Alex last night?"

"Good, it's been awhile since we've had a good old heart to heart. What time did you finally get up here?"

"Probably about two I guess. I was going to wake you but you just looked to peaceful to disturb." My arms were around her waist and I kissed her neck. "Of course now you're awake, and as gorgeous as ever." I kissed her jawline and felt her body respond to the simple show of affection.

I turned her so that she was facing me and kissed her lips. They always tasted so sweet on mine, like fresh berries or a fine wine. I loved the way that her arms found their way around my neck when I would deepen a kiss and her soft moan in the back of her throat was my weakness. I hated that I felt like there as something just not right, something missing with us almost but I didn't want to let her go, didn't want her to walk away. Maybe I was a selfish bastard as I'd been told in the past, then again, maybe these benefits were just too good to let go.

Olivia

His kiss drove me insane. It was like no other kiss I'd ever experienced before in my life. I let my arms go around his neck and pulled him in closer to me. As his tongue met mine I sighed with a pleasure that was pure and real. I bit his bottom lip and tugged gently, something I'd never done before and he lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Jesus woman you get sexier every single time I see you."

He tossed me down on the bed and pulled my t shirt over my head. My breasts were exposed and he immediately covered one with his mouth. I squirmed beneath him and a deeply aroused moan escaped my lips. "Mmm Donnie, I love when you…" The words were lost when his teeth found my nipple and tugged lightly.

In one swift motion he had his pajama pants on the floor and my lacy panties laying with them. "You drive me crazy woman, in the best way possible." His lips devoured mine and his fingers found their way to that spot where my legs met.

My breath caught as I waited on his fingers to find their place. When he slowly slid one inside I began to squirm. He began to work my body using only his fingers. The man was incredible.

"Donnie, my gah you make me feel so incredibly good." He smiled down at me, kissing me again. My body started to shake and I knew he was about to have me at the top of that mountain. My breath was coming fast and my mind was spinning. Within minutes I was cumming like only he had ever been able to make me.

Just when I thought he was done, he rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him. "I love feeling you on me, when your body is wet." He kissed my shoulders and trailed kisses down my chest, over my nipples and back up again. When his lips found mine I felt him enter me, his hands on my hips, pulling me down onto him, his hips rising to meet me. My head tilted back and I swear in the middle of the day I saw stars.

Without ever breaking our contact he rolled me onto my back and continued loving me like I'd never been loved. When he pulled out I started to protest before I was rolled on my side. He lay behind me, wrapping his arms around me and sliding into me again. His hand slid down my body until he reached that private spot and began to gently rub with his skilled fingers as he moved himself in and out of me. I thought that my head would explode with erotic pleasure, but I had no desire for him to stop.

His teeth bit into the soft lobe of my ear and he whispered, "You feel incredible wrapped around me, like a wet glove."

I could not tell you why but that was so incredibly sexy to me. I began to move to his rhythm and as I did he picked up his pace. I could barely hold in the cry of pleasure that was attempting to escape my lips. "God Donnie you're going to make me cum again!" With those words he began to go faster, deeper into me. I was gasping for air, loving the feeling he was giving me.

His free hand tangled itself into my hair, pulling my head back just enough so that his lips found mine. Just as he covered my lips with his I experienced the most earth shattering orgasm that I'd ever had, my loud cry of pleasure swallowed by his kiss.

He pulled his lips from mine, never slowing his pace. "You good ma," he asked in his heavy Boston accent.

"Incredible," was all that I could manage. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, when I thought if he kept on I would surely not be able to walk, he went harder and faster, drove himself deeper inside of me. I felt his muscles start to shake and knew that he was about to reach his orgasm. So caught up in the feeling it never crossed my mind to tell him to pull out, and in that moment I didn't want him too. With one final deep and hard thrust, he came deep inside of me.

When his orgasm had subsided he lay there and held me for what seemed like hours, never breaking our bodies connection.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapt. 6

Olivia

"No, I absolutely will not cave and go running up there to surprise him. That's ridiculous."

"Why is it so damn ridiculous woman?"

I was on the phone with probably the only person who knew the full extent of what was going on in my life, my very best friend who lived in Alabama. I had met Maggie a few years back online, one of those common interests and friends things where a friend said hey you two are just alike kinda things. I honestly don't think either of us ever thought we'd be so close but we were. She was my best friend and though we didn't see each other, I wouldn't be the same without her in my world.

"Olivia, listen to me. You love that boy and he loves you even if neither of you have admitted it yet. Get your happy ass on a damn plane and go see him. You're miserable without him and if he's half as into you as you are him, he's probably pretty damn pathetic too."

"So I'm pathetic now is what you're saying, I see. And no I definitely do not love him. I refuse to do that, not with his life and careers and stuff. Nothing would ever work between us."

Okay let me clarify, when I say I she knew everything, there was one little bit she didn't know. I had yet to tell her that I just felt like something wasn't there because even to me that sounded ridiculous. I was living a life millions of females around the world would have taken a life for and here I was, thinking it was missing something and looking for any way to avoid it.

"I'm telling you, go to him. You won't regret it."

I sighed and said, "Fine, I'll leave out in the morning, meet up with him on the set and see what happens. I'm telling you though, we are just friends, who happen to have incredibly, off the wall amazing, sex."

She laughed and said, "Keep telling yourself that dear, see how far it gets you. Call or text me when you get there and see him, let me know how it goes. Love you."

Hanging up the phone I stood and went to my closet. I pulled out a suitcase and lay it open on my bed and stared at the clothes hanging in front of me, clueless as to what to pack. About that time my daughter came in the room.

"What are you doing mom?"

"I thought while you were at your dads this weekend I'd go up and visit Donnie. Is that okay with you miss?"

She grinned up at me and nodded. She liked him, a lot. "What are you taking with you, or can you not decide?"

I laughed and shook my head. "I have no idea Lilah, but why don't you help me pick out something? After all you are my little fashionista."

She was so excited to help me that I just stood back and let her choose four outfits for me and was thoroughly impressed with her choices.

"Okay mom, these jeans make your legs look really long and your booty look fantastic. Wear them with this red shirt, but only if you're just hanging out. If he asks you to dinner, wear this little black dress and these earrings," she said holding up a pair of diamond studs. "These shoes because the sparkle on the strappy parts will give you bling. Then there are two more just because outfits. Now do you think you can handle the pajamas?" When I nodded she smiled. "Good, cause dad called and wanted to see if I could come over tonight instead of in the morning and go eat pizza with him and mammaw. So can I?"

I scooped her up and spun her around in a huge hug. "Of course, if it makes you happy. Let me get my purse and I'll run you on over there."

"No need, he said to call him and he'd pick me up on the way to the pizza place. Thank you mom, I love you," she said before turning and heading out of the room.

Sometimes I was amazed that she was really only eight. She was so grown up and so mature for her age, a true mini adult in every sense of the word.

Thirty minutes later she was headed out the door. "You have everything for school right?"

"Yes mom! Have fun!"

I smiled. "Okay sweetie, don't eat too much pizza! I'll see you Monday when you get home from school." With a nod and a smile she was in the truck and gone.

I turned and headed back into the house to get in touch with Eric, one of Donnie's pilot friends to see if he'd be willing to help me get to New York to surprise the man I couldn't shake, even with something missing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapt 7

Olivia

"Thank you Eric," I said as I got off the small plane. "I really appreciate this. Are you sure I can't give you some money for the ride?"

"Nope, you certainly cannot. You've got the directions that I gave you to the studio right? That's where they are filming today and I've talked to the security guy so they are expecting you. You shouldn't have any issues but if you do, call me. Now go," he said.

I hopped into the waiting cab and the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. I told the cab driver the address and he just nodded and drove off. The ride was a long silent one, but I was okay with the silence. The way I felt then I think chit chat would have only annoyed me. With one brief stop by the hotel I'd be staying to drop my things we were on the way to the studios.

When we finally pulled up at the studios entrance I tipped the driver, thanking him and climbing out of the cab. I walked to the gate where a rather intimidating guard stood and I immediately thought of turning the other way and forgetting this whole plan.

"Are you Miss Olivia," he asked, catching me off guard. When I nodded he smiled and was instantly no longer intimidating at all. "We've been waiting for you, come on in and I'll give you a fast tour of the set while they finish up this take."

I smiled shyly as he led me in and proceeded to lead me around the sound stages. I listened intently to his words, the way he described everything with such passion, like he loved his job.

We came to a door with a piece of paper that read "closed set" on it. "This is where they are filming right now. It's a family dinner scene, and I personally think it is their favorite scene to film. Do you want to go in and see what's going on?"

"No, I can wait out here," I said as the nerves returned. "So, Greg, tell me, how long have you been doing this?"

"Here at Bloods you mean? Since the show started up, it's like I'm a part of the family around here. Before this I was on other shows but none have been as nice as this one. The whole cast is so down to earth and just wonderful to be around. It really makes coming to work fun."

I smiled up at him. "You seem like you really love your job. It's like you have a passion for this place and all. I like that."

"Thank you ma'am."

Just then someone on the other side of the door yelled out "CUT!" and the big man smiled down at me. "Well, scenes done, now it's time for them all to break for lunch, so you're just in time for the good stuff." He smiled and walked away just as the door opened and members of the crew began to file out. They obviously assumed I belonged because no one stopped me to ask who I was or what I was doing there. I walked in where the cast was still sitting around the table talking and laughing about something. I stood quietly behind a large camera and watched Donnie as his smile brought the light to his eyes. It was so incredibly cute the way his eyes crinkled up when he really smiled, even though he hated it.

I knew when he finally saw me because he stopped what he was doing and stood up. If possible his smile got even broader. "Olivia, what are you doing here? I mean it's not that it matters, but I didn't know you were coming, you didn't say anything."

"I just wanted to surprise you and say hello," I said as he scooped me into his arms and hugged me fiercely. Before letting me go his lips found mine and I could taste the wine from the scene he had just filmed on his lips still.

"Come on over here and let me introduce to the family," He said with a smirk.

We walked over to the table and he smiled. "Guys, this is Olivia, we met this summer in Atlanta and we've been hanging out a good bit since then." He turned to me and said, "Liv, this is Tom, Bridgette, Amy, Sami, Will, and Len."

"It's so good to meet you all," I said a bit overwhelmed. I had to admit it was a bit intimidating to be in a room full of actors. I felt completely out of place.

"Olivia, why don't you sit down and join us for some lunch," Tom said standing to shake my hand.

Shaking my head I said, "I'd hate to interrupt anything, really, I'm fine."

"You wouldn't be interrupting anything at all dear. It's break time and company is always welcome."

I smiled sheepishly and took the chair that Tom was holding out for me and murmured a thank you. Someone brought in a huge rolling cart with so much food on it that I had to of gained ten pounds just looking at it.

Donnie must have seen my face. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Wait til you see the dessert tray."

I smiled at him and allowed the lady who was pushing the cart to fill a plate for me as I got lost in the talk at the table and caught up in the laughter of what seemed like a real family.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Donnie

"So where are you staying tonight?"

"I have room over at Lola. You could come by for dinner, the restaurant looks amazing and they have a nice bar it seems like."

I smiled down at her. "Or you could cancel it and save your money. Stay with me while you're here."

"Donnie, I couldn't impose on you that way."

"It most definitely wouldn't be imposing. In fact it could be incredible fun. I'll call you when we wrap up here today, swing by and pick you up"

She smiled up at me in that innocent way she had and I couldn't help hoping that she would come. I couldn't resist a kiss before I had to head back in to finish up taping for the day.

Back on set there were questions from everyone it seemed, wanting to know just what was going on with Olivia and me. I held my hands up and said, "Guy, we're friends, nothing more."

"Is that what she would say too," Will asked.

"Yeah," I said looking at him, "it is."

Amy smirked at me, "So, tell me Donnie, how's the benefits in the friendship?" Before I could formulate a reply she had walked away laughing.

Olivia

"The weekend just went by so fast, and I don't think we left his place once. I miss him already and I hate that feeling."

"Olivia, you love him, missing him kind of comes with the territory."

There was no use arguing the fact with Maggie, because she was in a sense right. I did love him, but if I was honest with myself not in the way I wanted to, or should after all these years. I hung up the phone only to pick it right back up to call Alex. He was the only one who I'd been one hundred percent honest with about all this mess.

"Livvy, my darling, how are you," he answered.

"I'm okay, just got back from a wonderful weekend in New York."

"So you've worked out all the feelings then?"

"No, and I hate it. I miss him entirely too much when we're apart, but then we get together and it's still missing something. I don't know what the hell the deal is Alex."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No, we're just friends anyway so it's not like it should matter to begin with. I guess maybe I just feel like I shouldn't feel this way and I do and I'm letting my brain get ahead of it all."

"Have you ever thought someone was so wonderful and then you meet them face to face and are completely disappointed? I think that's where you are. All your life you've believed that he was the love you needed and that you loved him the way you needed to for it to be forever, but then when it's right there in your face you realize that it wasn't what you thought it would be."

I laughed. "You do have a way with words huh? So you're saying it's like looking at a tray of strawberries thinking about how sweet they are, only to bite into one and it being completely sour? You think you know what you're in for until you actually take a bite out of it?"

"See, you catch on fast, that's why I love you." He laughed then. "So, December, you'll be here for the wedding right?"

"Of course silly, nothing could keep me away. I can't wait. Have I mentioned how happy I am for you? I am so glad you found someone who loves you and supports you and is a aid instead of a hindrance. You deserve all of this love."

"I love you Liv, now go get your head together and figure out what you want. Bottom line is you're not out to marry Donnie so you have to ask yourself if missing pieces are really so bad when being with him still makes you so happy. Call me later."

I hung up the phone and realized that he was right. I loved spending time with Donnie and I loved him in all the ways that I could. I missed him when he wasn't here and that was what mattered. I'd just have to get past the missing parts and focus on what wasn't missing.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapt 9

Olivia

The next month or so found me in New York every weekend and usually in Donnie's bed when he wasn't working. I had gotten into the habit of baking some sort of goodies for the guys on set and delivering them every Friday, no matter where the set was for that day. I tried to push the thought of something missing out of my head and was pretty successful for the most part.

It was a Saturday morning in October, early October and the weather was wonderful. I was up early and cooking breakfast in Donnie's kitchen when he came shuffling in, pajama pants, white t shirt and a smile.

"Hey ma," he said kissing my cheek. "That smells amazing, and you look amazing." Pouring a cup of coffee he took a seat at the high top bar and opened up the paper. "Hey, do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Um, no I don't think so, why?"

"No reason, just be ready at about 5, I have a surprise for you."

Why my heart sank I couldn't tell you, but it did. I wasn't a fan of surprises, but this was more than that. "Well you need to tell me where we're going so I know how to dress. I may have to go shopping if I didn't bring anything appropriate."

He smiled up at me and shook his head no. "Let's just do the little black dress kind of thing and we will be just fine."

I could tell there was no getting it out of him so I let it go. I'd definitely have to go shopping; I hadn't brought anything remotely close to little black dress.

After breakfast I headed out to find something that would work. "Maggie, I cannot let this get serious! I don't belong with him, not in a serious relationship. We are from two totally different worlds and there is no way that it could ever work."

"And just why the hell couldn't it work out woman?"

"Let's start with the fact that I have no desire to be in the limelight at all, and there would be no way to avoid the attention if I were to date him. Then there's the fact that I'm not a model or some other extravagantly gorgeous chick with these long legs and perfect boobs and hair. Guys like him, they just don't want plain old girls, and they want that arm piece that will look good on a red carpet. I'm so far from the red carpet I'm sneaking in the damn back door!"

"Oh just stop, he doesn't care about any of that and you shouldn't either. Stop looking for excuses and just go with it."

I didn't know how to make her see that I didn't want the life he led, even if I did want him, and I wasn't sure where I stood with that when it came to serious relationships. I hung up and grabbed a Starbucks before headed into Barney's to search for a dress for an evening that I had no idea about.

Donnie

Was I nervous about tonight, no, not really. I knew she wasn't fond of surprises but I also knew that she would love this one. She'd be fine once we got to where we were going. I slid the grey sweater over my head and smiled to myself. Olivia wasn't the type of girl you just enjoyed hot nights with, she was the kind you took care of and held onto. Sure, there was the niggling thought that something wasn't quite spot on, but I couldn't help but think it was nothing more than the fact that she deserved more than nights of sex, she deserved commitment.

"Hey, Donnie, would you log me out of my facebook page please?"

I smiled and shook my head. She was always leaving that damn page logged in. "Of course, just as soon as I post some crazy status!"

"Donnie don't you dare mister." She called from the shower with a laugh in her voice.

I logged her out without posting anything this time. "I'm going to watch some football while you finish up getting ready okay?"

"Okay, I won't be long, promise."

She was true to her word and ready within half an hour. She walked out into my living room and she looked amazing. "If this is what you come up with on short notice I'd love to see what you can do with time to plan. You look wonderful Liv. You ready to head out?"

"Tell me where we're going, please," she said as I took her hand and led her out the door.

"You will see soon enough. I will tell you first stop is dinner."

"Well, I a hungry," she replied, laughing.

Olivia

Dinner was amazing. Michael's was a fantastic restaurant, even when we went in the back door and sat in a secluded area. It just felt like too much in a way. All that just to have a peaceful dinner and not to be seen would be a ridiculous way to have a relationship.

"Okay you, now where are we going?"

He smiled and kissed my nose. "You'll see."

Thirty minutes later we were standing at the top of the Empire State Building, looking out over the city. It was breathtaking and probably the most romantic thing I'd ever experienced. His arms were wrapped around my waist and he was swaying me lightly side to side as he hummed a familiar tune.

"This is breathtaking, such a beautiful sight. I'd give anything to have my camera up here to capture it all."

"We'll come back, you can bring it then," he whispered. He slowly began to sing a Blake Shelton song, God Gave Me You, and I think I may have melted. As he finished the song up he kissed my cheek so soft. "I love you Olivia."

I froze. What did he mean he loved me? He couldn't love me. Surely he meant he loved me in a way that wasn't serious. I just smiled, not knowing what to say and not feeling like repeating the words was the right thing to do at that moment in time. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't this man, in this setting, in this life, feeling like it should?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Olivia

I spent the week at home going over the night at the top of the Empire State Building in my head. I was torn between wishing those words had never left his lips and being in awe and loving that they left those lips all at the same time. Unfortunately the words didn't change anything at all when it came to that feeling of something missing.

Friday came and I was back in New York, ready to see him and everyone else who I'd come to call friends. As usual I baked, this time it was spice cake, and took it to the set. I walked in and heard Will call out, "Liv's here with her goodies!" I had to laugh.

Donnie found me and kissed me. "Hey, ma, I was wondering when you would get here. I was going to tell you that tonight I won't be home til really late. Johnny has the showing of Blue Bloods and I promised tonight I'd make an appearance. You are welcome to come of course."

I groaned. As much as it felt like something was missing, I couldn't deny that I wished there wasn't and I couldn't deny that I hated seeing so many women all over him. His fans, well, let's just say they were a whole different class of fan. And sometimes he could be far too nice to some. But I didn't want him to ignore his fans either. Part of the attraction was just how much he loved his fans and that he showed his appreciation for them. It was my two edged sword.

"I don't know D, there are so many people there and I'd just feel left out or something else stupid like that."

He pulled me closer to him and said, "So ask Will to come along for some company. I know you two get along pretty good. It'd be fun."

"I don't know…"

"Hey, Will! Come here a minute!"

Will came walking over and smiled. "Hey Olivia, how are ya?"

"Good, how've you been?"

He just smiled and mumbled that he'd been fine. "What's up Donnie?"

"Tonight, screening of Blue Bloods, Olivia doesn't want to go because she thinks she'd be out of place and stuff. You busy?"

"Um, no, I don't think so. Just let me know what time and I'll be there."

He walked away and Donnie smiled down at me. "See, I told you he wouldn't mind."

I just shook my head and turned to take the cake to the catering table. This was just another reason it would never work with me and Donnie. He couldn't see that the real reason I didn't want to go was because I didn't want to watch him with all those girls. He knew how I felt about it and still, he wanted me to be at these kinds of things. It would be so much easier on me if he just didn't ask me to come along, or if I could tell him no.

That night Will was waiting on us when we got to the screening location. Also waiting was a theater full of girls waiting to get their hands on Donnie. I dreaded this night already and it had yet to really begin.

Donnie held the door for us and we slipped in the back way so that we could remain unnoticed as long as possible. Will and I took a seat in the projector room and Donnie headed down to mingle and make nice with the group of screaming fangirls waiting down stairs.

"So," Will said, "You don't like this kind of thing huh?"

"I hate it. I guess I just feel like I should come along because it's expected or something."

"You hate this kind of thing and yet you're dating Donnie?" He laughed and shook his head. "Did you realize who you were getting involved with?"

"Well, first of all, he's not my boyfriend and we aren't dating. We're friends is all. And yes, I did realize who he was, which is why we aren't dating. I don't want the limelight that comes with him. It's just not for me at all. I'm a country girl and I'm not cut out for red carpet nights and award shows and all the high class things that come with Donnie Wahlberg."

"Does he know how you feel about all of this?"

I nodded and sipped at my drink. "Yeah, and yet he still invites me to these things."

"Okay, but if you're not dating and you're only friends then why do you care if there are girls hanging all over him? There has to be feelings in there somewhere, right?"

"Of course there are. I love him, and would love to be with him, but I know that it just isn't reasonable. I don't want the attention that he seems to crave. We're too different. That doesn't mean that I don't love him and that it doesn't bother me seeing him with those girls all over him and to see him kissing on them and things."

Will nodded and looked down over the theater at all the people filing in and at Donnie and Johnny standing at the front of the theater, welcoming them all with a smile and the occasional hug and kiss. "Surely though, if you two were a couple, officially dating or whatever, he would tone it down."

I shrugged and we fell silent as the show started. When the credits rolled on the large screen the girls all seemed to rush to Donnie at once. They were all grabbing for his attention, some grabbing body parts that they had no right to be touching to get his attention even. I let a disgusted sigh escape my mouth before I realized it and sat back in my chair.

"Hey, Olivia, do you wanna get out of here? We could go grab a drink or something to eat, whatever you want to do."

Just then my cell went off and I looked down to see that a text had come through. It was Donnie.

::Hey, we have this after party thing, you can join us if you'd like or I can meet you back at the apartment. It's going to be a late night I think.::

I sent a text back saying that Will and I were going to grab dinner and that I'd just see him back at his place. Slipping the phone in my purse I stood up. "How about that dinner now?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Will

"I take it that was Donnie?"

She nodded and I watched her try to hide a disappointment that she shouldn't have had to feel. "He said they were going to have an after party, he's going to be home late. Told me I could come along or meet him back at his I told him that we were grabbing something to eat and I'd see him later."

"You sure that you feel like it, I mean we could always get take out and just head back to the apartment or something."

"No, I'm fine, really. I'm not in the mood to go back to that empty apartment anyway." She smiled and headed for the door.

The streets were crowded. It was a typical Friday night in New York. I kept one hand on her back, if for no other reason than it was a typical Friday night in New York; you never knew what would happen. A familiar feeling had worked its way back into my mind and I did my best to push it away. I didn't want to be bothered right now with trying to figure it out, to place what it was I was feeling. I just knew that since that very first day that she had walked on the set my mind had not been right whenever Olivia was around.

"Here's the place I was telling you about." I held the door open to one of my favorite spots, B Bar. "We can grab dinner, talk, or we can dance, whatever you want to do. They have it all here."

She smiled her thanks and I felt that twinge again. I pushed it out of my mind as we took our seats.

We spent the most part of the night nursing beers, eating dinner, and talking. I didn't tell her how she should stand up and let Donnie know how he made her feel on nights like tonight. I didn't tell her that she shouldn't waste her time if he didn't think it was important enough to make time for her. I kept all of that to myself.

"I don't know Will, it's like, when we first met he was always making time for me, we got along great, he listened. Now, well now he still listens, we still get along great, but it just seems like there's less and less time for me in his life every single week. I know he's busy and has a ton going on, but… I don't know, I guess it would just be nice if I felt like he wanted to fit me in to that schedule."

"You shouldn't have to be fit in to anyone's schedule Olivia. No one should have to be penciled in."

She smiled up at me from across the table. "Ahhh, your sweet Will, you know that?"

I shook my head and grinned. "Nah, I can be a real butt when I want to be."

She laughed. That twinge kept kicking in and no matter how I tried or what I did it wouldn't stop.

"I guess I better get back to the apartment," she said looking at her watch. "I doubt he's there yet but I'm getting tired I guess."

I paid the check and stood. "I'll walk you home, let's go."

Olivia

I don't know what was going on with me tonight. I must be getting sick. My stomach kept turning over and over it felt like the entire night. I really did not want to come down with anything. I hated being sick.

A good night's rest, that's all I need, I thought to myself. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then climbed into the oversized bed in Donnie's room. I felt awkward being here alone, like a trespasser who was just asking to be caught. I closed my eyes and tried to push all those thoughts out of my head and just sleep.

I guess I fell asleep a lot easier than I thought. I never heard Donnie come in, or climb into the bed beside me. Never felt him wrap his arms around me and pull me close to him. I woke up tight against his chest and did my best to get out of his grasp and out of the bed without waking him.

"Where you going ma," his sleepy voice called about the time I got to the door.

"To fix some breakfast, I'm hungry. You sleep its fine."

I slipped out of the bedroom and into his kitchen and began looking for something to eat. The refrigerator was empty and when I looked in his cabinets they were just as empty. I slipped silently back into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t shirt, my tennis shoes and a baseball hat before slipping out to dress in the living room. I quickly wrote a note telling him that I'd gone out for breakfast since he'd missed the grocery store this week and that I'd be back. I locked the door and headed out to find some breakfast, and some Starbucks.

I ended up just grabbing a sandwich at one of the corner deli's then stopping into Starbucks for my usual dose of caffeinated caramel goodness. I ate there, and then decided to head over to Central Park for a walk before I headed back to the apartment. The day was already much too nice and the feeling of impending illness I'd felt last night was nowhere to be found. In fact, I felt fine this morning, nothing like the night before when my stomach had been so flip-floppy. I guess all I had needed was that good night's sleep after all.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Donnie

I woke up and immediately wondered where on earth Olivia was. She was always here when I woke up. The silence in my apartment was something that I was no longer used to. Climbing out of the bed I thought I remembered her saying something about breakfast but I didn't smell anything coming from the kitchen. Stumbling to the bathroom and taking care of the typical morning business, then splashing my face with ice cold water I headed out to the kitchen to see what she was up to.

The woman was nowhere in my apartment. I noticed a note on the counter next to a pot of coffee.

::Donnie, went out to find something to eat. Have you checked your kitchen out lately? You might consider a grocery store excursion sometime in the near future. I don't know if you will be awake before I get back or not, somehow I doubt it, so if you do happen to crawl out of bed after your late night of fun and all that, text me if you want me to bring you home something to eat. Otherwise, I'll see you when I get back. XOXO, Liv.::

If I didn't know better I'd say she was pissed. Knowing her like I do though if she was truly that pissed, she'd have let it be known before she walked out of that door. I wasn't really hungry anyway, so I headed into the office to get some things finalized for the opening of the restaurant.

The door opened about half an hour later and I called out, "In here ma!"

"Glad it's just me then, otherwise you'd have led some crazed moron right to you." She smiled down at me and held out a bag. "You never text me but I figured you'd need to eat eventually. More work?" The last was said on a fading smile.

"Just a little, but I'll be done in no time and I promise you we will do something, anything you want to do. Give me maybe another half an hour okay?" I hated that look in her eyes that said she didn't really think I'd be finished that soon, or that we'd spend any kind of time together, but damn it this time I was going to do my best.

"Don't rush yourself, I know you've got a lot on your plate and all with the restaurant opening up and working on this new tour stuff and filming. I'm just going to go watch tv, if you need any help or want an extra hand let me know."

She turned and walked out of the office and in that moment I knew that I didn't want to hurt her anymore and yet still had this tugging inside of me that something just wasn't right, a piece was missing. A very important piece.

Olivia

The plane touched down in Atlanta and I wiped the sleep from my eyes. I was glad to be home simply because I missed my sweet little girl, but I was starting to develop a love for the big city. Of course many would argue that Atlanta was a big city in itself but for me there was an enormous difference between this big city and the Big Apple. I never thought I'd be one to fall in love with all that hustle and bustle but I was.

I got home and walked in, setting my bags down in the hallway I headed straight to the kitchen. I was so hungry that I couldn't stand it. Donnie of course had never made it to the grocery store and the whole eating every meal out thing just wasn't my style. Just one more way we were completely different. And he'd not finished up that work in the half hour he'd promised. In fact, three hours later he'd called out that he just needed another fifteen minutes which turned into four hours. I spent all day Saturday on the couch, alternating between reading my book, and watching mindless tv shows.

I don't know why I was letting it bother me so that he had worked the day away; after all, I had expected it. Maybe it was because every time he did that I kept hearing those voices from my past telling me that I wasn't good enough. I knew that was a lie, I really did, but when something had been so ingrained into your mind it was hard to let it go completely.

Maybe it bothered me so because it only made it feel more as though something were missing with us. I loved the guy, I really did, but I was starting to question that love. Was it the love of someone who was in a relationship or the love of someone who was a great friend? Suddenly I didn't know the answer anymore. I just knew that I didn't want him to not be in my life.

I brooded over this all week, then Wednesday I got a call from Nick. "Hey woman, what are you doing?"

"Nothing at all, just relaxing at the house, why are you asking sir?"

"I thought you might like some company, that's all. I'll be free for a few days and thought I'd stop by if you didn't care."

I smiled broadly, excited at the thought of Nick visiting. "Of course you can! I'll get the guest room ready. When will you be in?"

"Give me about half an hour?"

I laughed then. "So sure I'd want your company that you're already in Atlanta?"

"Of course."

I hung up the phone and headed off to get things ready for him. The prospect of having him here took my mind off of all the mess with Donnie and I was grateful for the distraction.

Unlike someone else I knew, Nick was true to his word and in half an hour my doorbell rang. I opened the door and threw my arms around his neck. "I am so glad you're here!"

He laughed and lifted me off the ground in a fierce hug. "Me too! I couldn't let Donnie be getting all of my best friend's attention now could I?"

The smile slowly left my face at the mention of Donnie and I hated it. I wanted his name to spark the butterflies again; instead it just seemed to chase them away. I tried to put the smile back before Nick noticed it had faded out. "Well, I wouldn't say he's getting all of my attention."

He studied me closely and then wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me to the kitchen. He made himself at home, opening my fridge, pouring two glasses of sweet tea, and plopping down at the table. "What's that look for? And don't you tell me there is no look. There's a tone too. What's going on with you two?"

I sighed. "I don't know Nick, I guess it's just that he's too busy for him to be getting all of my attention is all."

"And, go on, what else? Have you two been getting along?"

"Of course, when we actually are together. I mean, like this past weekend, he went out Friday to some party thing with fans, and I didn't go. You know how I feel about that. Then I was asleep before he came home, and that was after Will and I had gone to eat and talked for at least two hours. Then when I woke up Saturday morning Donnie was sound asleep and so I went out for breakfast and a walk. Left a note for him and thought he'd at least text or call when he woke up, if he woke up before I got back. When he didn't I assumed he was still asleep yet I walk in and he's working in the office. Said he'd only be half an hour then we'd have some time. Seven and a half hours later, he came staggering out wanting to go out to eat." I took a sip of the tea he'd sat in front of me and then said, "It's just like, I don't know, it's silly. I mean if I was a stack of paperwork I might actually felt like he knew I was there sometimes."

"You've never been one to hide how you feel. Have you told him how bad it bothers you? And what does he think of you and Will hanging out?"

"See that's the thing, I don't say anything with him. I guess I have the mentality that we aren't dating, we're just friends with incredible benefits, so I really don't have a say in it all. As for Will, Donnie actually suggested he come out to the screening thing Friday to keep me company."

"I think you need to let Donnie know how you're feeling. And if you want more than that beneficial friendship, say so. Tell him you won't stand for being just a good time and you want a commitment."

"I never said I wanted that, but then again, maybe that's what I feel like is missing with us…" I trailed off, not even realizing that I'd let that little piece of information slip to him. Alex knew all about that missing feeling, but I'd not mentioned it to Nick. Thankfully he let it go but I could tell he had stored it away for later. "Anyway, it's late, and I'm sure that you're tired. Come on and I'll show you your room. Then you can shower or whatever and get some sleep."

After I had Nick squared away I headed into my room and took out my cell phone.

::D, you busy?::

It took a minute but finally I got ::No, what's up babe?::

::I just wanted to be sure that you wanted… no that's not what I mean. I just wanted to tell you that I understand you're busy but it feels like you never have time for me. I don't want to be in the way of your work and stuff, and it seems like there's a lot of it these days.::

I pressed send then added ::I love that you love your work so much and the passion you put into it, I do, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, it'd be nice to have that kind of attention myself. Not always, just sometimes to feel like I'm as important as the work is now and then.::

I held my breath waiting on his reply. Finally it came. ::I am so incredibly sorry that you feel that way. I didn't realize it bothered you so much, in fact I guess I thought you didn't mind because you never said anything. You are important to me. Very much so. This weekend, it will be different, I promise. You're still coming right?::

::Of course I am silly. See you then.::

I shut my cell off and fell asleep smiling.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

NICK

"Hey, Liv! What do you say we go out dancing tonight? It's been awhile, and I could use a night out. I'm sure you could too."

"Sounds great," she called down to the basement. I had my playstation hooked up and was playing my video games, or my last connection to the pre-pubescent era as Olivia called it. I could definitely use a night out, especially being away from Lauren. She had been smothering lately. I knew it was because Olivia and I were back in contact again, but really she had to get it through her head that there was nothing to worry about there.

When my cell phone rang I knew it was going to be her. She couldn't let me out of her sight ten minutes let alone two damn days, I thought. I picked it up and considered ignoring the call but decided to avoid the drama answered it instead.

"Yes, Lauren?"

"Why so short Nick? How about saying hello like a civilized person?"

Seriously, who the hell did she think she was these days? His mom? "Hello Lauren. Is that better?"

"Oh whatever," she said impatiently. "Where are you anyway?"

"Since I had some down time I came to visit a friend."

"And you couldn't tell me, you couldn't take me with you?"

"No, I couldn't. I didn't know that I had to fill you in on every time I moved a lung to breathe. And for that matter I didn't know that you were supposed to go with me to visit my friends."

She was silent for a good minute and then she said in a low, pissed tone, "You're with her aren't you? That Olivia girl? If she's only a friend Nick then why couldn't you tell me you were going to visit her?"

"Gee, Lauren, I don't know. Let's start with the way you're acting right now. Why the hell should I have to tell you that I'm going to visit someone who might as well be my sister?"

"Fine, whatever," she said, making it clear that it wasn't fine, and that it was far from over. "What hotel are you staying at?"

I heaved a sigh. "I'm not."

This time her silence was drug out so long that I was about to hang up. Then I heard the screeching begin. "What the hell do you mean you're not staying at a hotel? Are you seriously shacking up with this… this… her! I swear on all that is good Nickolas, if I find out that you two are sleeping together…"

That was all I heard before I hung up. It was better to end that call than to keep it going and saying something I'd undoubtedly regret. Lauren was going to have to understand that Olivia may as well have been my blood family as close as we had always been. I shook my head. How on earth did I always end up with chicks who were nutcases, I thought.

OLIVIA

"Nick! Are you ready to go? You take much longer and by the time we get there it's going to be time to head home!"

"I'm coming! Keep ya pants on woman!"

I laughed. "I'm not wearing pants, so let's go!" Technically I wasn't. A skirt wasn't classified as pants. "The taxi is waiting!" I figured a taxi was the best way to go, not knowing what kind of drinking would be going on tonight.

As Nick walked up the stairs I could hear him laugh. "Well then Donnie is really missing out huh? I should send him a picture, so he knows what he's missing."

I laughed again and we headed out the door and to the club.

When we walked into the dance club the music was going, loud, and encouraging your hips to keep time with the bass. I ordered a drink and watched as Nick ordered himself a beer. I gave him one of those looks, you know the ones that require no words but say enough.

"I know my limits Liv, I'm fine."

I shrugged, not wanting to hassle him. He had someone for that from the way his phone conversation had sounded earlier today. I'd keep an eye on him and if I thought he was having too many, well then I'd step in. I didn't plan on having many myself. It had been far too long since I'd drank more than one or two and I didn't want to end up sick from over doing it.

We danced for hours on end, and I can't recall leaving the dance floor to get more alcohol, but I can only assume they had bar girls walking around keeping you supplied. It seemed there was never a moment when we didn't have a drink of some sort in our hands. When two o'clock rolled around we decided to call it a night and head back home.

As we walked into my house I remember him saying something about my face being awfully flushed looking, and I remember heading to the bedroom. The next thing I know we were waking up to raging sunlight.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Olivia

"Ugh," I groaned as I rolled away from the window and the blinding light that was pouring through it. I ended up facing someone's back. I didn't recall anyone falling asleep in my bed with me this morning, of course, I didn't recall falling asleep in my bed this morning either. Then I remembered that Nick was here, so it must be him. I quickly checked to be sure that I was fully dressed and that he was too. Thankfully we both were, so last night hadn't been totally ridiculous thank God.

I tried to slip out of the bed without waking him and then thought that if I had to suffer the morning, so did he. I grabbed a pillow and smashed him in the head.

"OUCH! Damn what are you trying to do, kill me?" He opened his eyes and promptly shut them again. "What the hell is with the death rays coming from outside?"

"It's called a hangover and if I have to suffer it, then so do you. Wake up, and don't make me clang pots and pans to torture you. I couldn't handle it."

I headed to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before I went into the kitchen to start coffee. Once it was dripping noisily I went on to fix some eggs, toast, and bacon. Breakfast of the hungover, and no two people fit that description better than me and Nick.

Just as he was walking into the kitchen I was checking my cell phone and saw missed calls from Donnie. I listened to the voicemail and smiled. He had that effect on me, even when he was just saying that he couldn't wait for me to get there. I sat sipping my coffee and my phone went off again. I picked it up and saw that he was texting me. What was his deal; he never gave my number that much attention.

::Hey, are you here yet? You're usually on set by now to say hello. Was just kinda getting worried. Get in touch.::

I started to reply back that it was only Thursday when I realized that it was actually Friday and I was usually indeed not only in New York by now, but that I had usually made a stop by the set to say hello.

::Hey! Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Lost track of time, Nick came to visit. I'll be there this afternoon. Tell everyone hi for me!::

Nick looked up from his phone and from his face I could tell his texts obviously hadn't been as pleasant as mine. "What's up Nicky?"

He held his phone up to show me a photo of him kissing someone quite passionately. "Okay, you and Lauren. Did she send it to you to remind you that you were hers or something?"

"No, actually, I sent it to her in reply to her thinking that there was more to me and you than I was telling her. And it's not me and Lauren. It's me and you." He held his hand up to stop me from saying anything. "That's the only photo that was sent from my phone, but it's definitely not the only photo on my phone." He held his head in his hands and mumbled, "How fucking drunk did we get last night Liv?"

"Nick, tell me we did not sleep together. Please just tell me that much."

"Doesn't look like it from the pictures, and I didn't have that after sex bathroom call this morning. So yeah, we didn't sleep together."

"Thank God! No offense I mean, I'm sure you're great and all, but I don't want to find out. And even worse would be doing it and not remembering cause that would just be damn rude. OH my, what all happened last night?"

In response he slid his phone across the table for me to go through the pictures. No, we hadn't slept together but we'd gotten a hell of a lot closer than we'd ever been, and closer than I wanted to be at any point in time with my best friend. Setting his phone down I tossed my coffee back like it was tequila in a shot glass and let it burn my throat all the way down. Then I lay my head on the counter and groaned for what had to of been the thousandth time that morning.


	15. Chapter 15

**I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you for all the reviews that are coming in on this story. They truly motivate me! This story is special to me, close to my heart. It's a story that I love telling, one that I hope you all love too. It's been awhile since my last update but there is a lot going on in my life these days it seems. School, kids, weddings, sickness… finding time to write isn't always the easiest for me! Thank you for the patience though, and I will try to do better on updating. Please keep on reviewing and letting me hear what you think, good and bad! It truly helps! I'm always open to ideas and suggestions too! Bring it on, and happy reading!**

Chapter 15

OLIVIA

After a nice hot shower, more Tylenol, and packing my bags to head to New York I headed back downstairs. Halfway down the stairs I heard Nick on the phone and from his tone I knew it was Lauren. I hated to listen in, yet at the same time I didn't want to go in and interrupt.

"LAUREN! How many damn times do you have to be told that Olivia and me, we're just friends! Nothing more, never has been and never will be! End of the story!"

Silence, then, "We were drunk! We didn't even remember the kiss til I looked at my messages and phone. It's not like it was planned or intended. Since June you have been accusing me of a relationship with her, so maybe I should just let you think what you want to so you can say you were right. Hell, you'll do that anyway."

I walked down the last few steps then and say my bags on the sofa. He looked up and forced a smile. I nodded that it was okay and walked into the kitchen area to grab a coke.

"Look, I'm leaving out today, we can discuss this when I get back there. Bottom line is when it comes to Olivia; you have nothing to worry about." He hung up the phone as I handed him a coke and sat down on the sofa.

"She pissed as hell?"

He shook his head and chuckled. "She says it was nothing she hadn't known since the day you showed up. I don't know what the hell her issue is, but she's always thought that you and I have something going on. No matter what I tell her or what the guys tell her she still thinks we are all lying. Hell, even Leighanne has tried telling her she's wrong."

I hung my head. "Well, I guess the upside is, we know the truth. I'm sorry Nick."

He looked at me with confusion. "What are you sorry for?"

"It seems like I showed up and have done nothing but create problems for you and Lauren."

He laughed then. "Lauren creates her own problems. You have nothing to do with it at all. I promise you that."

I smiled at him and caught sight of the clock out of the corner of my eye. "Oh, my goodness, I have to go or I'm going to miss the plane Donnie has waiting on me. Will you lock up when you leave out?"

"Of course I will. I won't be much longer. Have a good and safe flight Liv." He hugged me and planted a kiss on my forehead as I headed out the door.

WILL

"Olivia, hey, you're here late today aren't you?"

She smiled that smile that seemed to have an unwanted effect on me. "I am but at least I'm here. And I brought treats, thought it would make up for being late."

"Yeah, should work," I laughed. "Donnie has been looking for you all day. He's on location though, so if you want to see him you might just have to travel, unless of course you want to just wait here."

"I can wait. You're not taping?"

I shook my head. "Nope, just finished up and was heading out. You barely caught me. I can always stay and keep you company though."

"Oh no, you don't have to do that, I'm sure your tired and want to get home. It's okay, I'll just head to the apartment and relax for a little while."

"I don't mind; really, but at least let me walk you?"

She smiled again and looked down at her feet. "You don't have to go out of your way, really its fine."

"You're sure?" She nodded and I said, "Okay, well then I guess I'll see you around." I put my bag over my shoulder and headed out of the studio. I don't know why she had the effect on me that she did, but I did know I had to find a way to shake it, and fast. For God's sake, the woman was dating my friend, and happy with him, even if he did work way too much. If she'd just stop smiling, I might be able to get over whatever idiotic fascination this was that I had with her. It was her smile that turned my world upside down.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Olivia

Will was so sweet, and he was so kind and caring it made it hard to turn down his offer to walk me to the apartment. It was like he wanted to spend time with me, and it sure didn't always feel that way with Donnie. Of course I knew Donnie was busy, so that was okay.

I got to the apartment and let myself in. I went to the kitchen and was impressed to see that he had gone to the grocery store and stocked the cabinets and the refrigerator. I sent him a text to see when he'd be home, thinking I could fix a nice homemade dinner for him. I knew it had been awhile since he'd had one of those.

::Hey there Detective, was wondering when I could expect you back at the home front.::

It was about five minutes before the phone sprang to life. ::I should be there by nine or so, I can't wait to see you.::

I sat the phone down and saw that I had about three hours til he was due in so I rummaged around to see what I could put together. I found steaks, nice thick steaks and started them to marinate in a variety of seasonings and juices. I searched out some vegetables and pasta as well and got everything ready for an incredible side dish. I headed to the bath to soak myself in a hot bubble bath before cooking. I sank in to my neck and closed my eyes to relax.

Donnie

"I don't know why she isn't answering. She knew I was going to be home about now."

"Maybe she got tired of waiting and went out," Jennifer said.

I gave her a look, raising my eyebrow.

"What, a female can't get tired of waiting on the amazing Donnie?" she laughed.

Just then my cell went off. ::Sorry, just got your message, I was in the bath then I was cooking. So, you're not coming home?::

::Not right now, filming is running late. I'm sorry babe, but I'll be home soon. Just wrap mine up and if you want to wait up you can if not, I understand.::

I took a drink of beer and felt just a little guilty. Okay, so filming wasn't exactly running late, but I was with the cast and crew, beers after work.

::Oh, okay, well I guess, I guess I'll just wrap it up then. I'll see you when you get in.::

::Hey, tomorrow night, me and the gang talked about it, salsa dancing. Amy, Jennifer, and Will are all up for going. Thought it'd be fun.::

::Sounds great. I can't wait.::

I read the reply and set the cell down on the bar. "Hey, bartender can I get another, actually make it a shot of vodka."

"I take it that went over well then?"

"I told her filming was going late. I should have just told her we were out for a drink and been straight." I took the shot glass and threw it back like it was water.

Jennifer set her beer down and looked at me. "You mean to tell me that you lied to her? Donnie, she's good, why are you out to ruin it?"

"Jenn, I don't know. I have no idea. And I can't explain it at all, but it's like something just isn't right. I mean with her its right but it's like there's something missing."

"Do you love her Donnie?"

"Well yeah, but I love my family too. I can't explain it so that it makes sense, I just know that I love being with her, and I love her, but… hell, I just don't know. Something isn't there."

"So why keep dragging it out then?"

I took a long sip of my beer and whispered, "because for whatever it is that's missin, the rest is there."

"Ahhh," she said nodding. "So, what you're saying is the sex is off the charts." She sat her beer down, laid a 50 on the bar and left before I could reply.

Olivia

I wrapped up Donnie's plate. I fought the tears the entire time I did it. At least I would have tomorrow. I knew it would be this way, being involved with him. He was a part of some pretty time consuming careers. I just wish that I was a part of his time too. Besides, why the hell was this hitting me so hard? I loved him, yes, but I didn't see myself spending forever with him, not when I couldn't let go of the feeling that something was missing. Something vital, even if I couldn't pinpoint what it was.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

::I hear you're going to salsa with us tomorrow… you don't seem the type.::

::Ha, what, don't seem the type to salsa, or the type to dance at all?::

I laughed that Will had read me so well. ::The type to dance at all! Should be fun though. Is it bad that I don't like Jennifer, and that I have no idea why?::

::Nah, we all have feelings sometimes without knowing why. So Donnie made it home at a decent hour I take it?::

::go ahead and insert a great big old sigh here. No, he didn't. In fact he still isn't home.::

::I'm sorry Liv, I really am. I figured he'd have been in by now.::

::Eh, I guess I'm used to it. Should be anyway. I think I'm going to try to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow!::

::Goodnight Olivia, I'll see you…::

I set the phone down and closed my eyes, hoping that I'd fall asleep soon. I couldn't explain it, but I hoped to be asleep before Donnie got home.

DONNIE

"Hey, Olivia, I'm home ma, you sleepin?" I kissed her ear as I climbed into bed beside her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and slid closer to her as I pulled her to me. I ran kisses down her neck and across her shoulders whispering in her ear. "Liv, ma, I'm sorry I was so late. Dinner was amazing."

"And now you want dessert?" She mumbled so low that I barely heard her.

"Hmmmm now that you bring it up, it does sound like a great idea."

She rolled over and faced me. "You come in at what, 3 in the morning, and expect me to wake up and be ready to go huh? What kind of scene was you filming that ran this late?"

"Olivia, I'm sorry okay? It's just how the business is sometimes. It sure as hell isn't like I set the hours." When she started to protest I kissed her lips to stop her. I let my hands trail down her sides and under her tee shirt. I felt her body relax, all the tension just melted away. I knew then that all was well and she returned the kiss in a way that I knew was going to lead to one amazing night.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

OLIVIA

Well he had done it again, I thought. I had so wanted to be mad and upset that he had come in so late, but with him that just seemed to be impossible. I just wish it was easier to not give in to him. I just wish I could identify what was actually missing from the relationship.

"What's on your mind?"

I looked up and smiled. "Nothing really, just how I can't be mad at you, even when I want to be."

Donnie wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed the bare skin there. "Now why would you ever want to be mad at me?"

I turned and playfully slapped his arm. Before I could answer my phone vibrated and I reached for it. "Who is it," Donnie asked.

"No one, just had the alarm set so I'd know when it was time to touch up the make up and go. Otherwise we would be late, as usual, and I thought tonight we could try this whole being on time thing." I laughed as he gave me a look that said I was insane.

I walked into the bathroom to make sure my hair was okay and that my make up was as it should be before heading out to slip into my strappy high heels with the large flower on them. Perfect for salsa dancing, and they looked wonderful with the black and white floral dress, the bright red was a perfect compliment. I walked out of the room as I was finishing up getting my earrings on.

Donnie let out a low whistle of appreciation. "Damn ma, you look beautiful tonight. Looks like I'm going to have to hold on to you tight so you don't get swept away by anyone else." He kissed me and smiled.

"Oh please, no one will want me tonight. I promise you that." With a kiss to his lips we headed out the door.

WILL

I was waiting at the restaurant with Amy for Olivia and Donnie to show up, thinking I was okay. Then I saw her. It felt like someone had punched me in the gut. All the air seemed to rush out of my lungs in one huge whoosh. She looked literally breathtaking. It was becoming clear that the effect she had on me wasn't going to go away. I had to find a way to ignore it though.

Amy nudged my arm and grinned. "While I think you two are much better for each other you might want to pick your jaw up off the floor and wipe the drool."

"Haha, funny Amy," I said. "It's not like that at all I can assure you. She's a friend, who's dating another friend. Nothing more."

She gave me that knowing look and sipped on her drink again. I just shook my head and did my best to fight the smile that wanted to break out.

"Hey you guys," Olivia said brightly as they approached us. "You both look wonderful, as always!" She hugged Amy and then me. She smelled as good as she looked tonight.

"What are we waiting for, let's hit the dance floor people," Amy said.

OLIVIA

I loved dancing. There wasn't many things I enjoyed more in fact. Of course dancing with someone who knew what they were doing was always a plus. When we all made it out to the dance floor I grinned devilishly at Will. "So, you think you can dance huh?"

"Ha, I know I can. Question is can you."

"I'll take that as a challenge, and you sir, you can consider it accepted!" I laughed as Donnie took me in his arms and began to twist me and turn me this way and that. I caught sight of Will and Amy out of the corner of my eye and I had to admit, the guy had moves.

About an hour into the night Jennifer showed up and I couldn't help but be just a little disappointed. I was hoping that she'd changed her mind and wasn't coming. I plastered a fake smile on my face and greeted her. I don't know why she rubbed me wrong, just that she did.

"Hey, Olivia, how about you and me?" I turned to see Will standing there holding out his hand.

"You and me what, you mean you want to dance? Haha can you keep up with me out there?"

"What was it you said earlier? That sounds like a challenge, and it's one that I'm willing to accept? Yeah, let's go!"

He took my hand and spun me around til I was dizzy, then he pulled me in close, just long enough for me to catch my breath again. I smiled at him, eye to eye, and we danced. I didn't even realize that the time had gone by so quickly until Donnie tapped Will on the shoulder.

"I was thinking of taking her home if you don't mind." He said with a grin.

"Donnie, the night's still young! Let's dance some more."

"Liv, hon, it's almost 2 am and the club would like to close at some point tonight."

Will and I looked each other. I could see him thinking the same thing that I was. Where had the time gone? How was it two am already? Then we both started laughing. "Will, thank you for dancing with me. I had a great time! See you soon!"

"Yeah, you too Olivia." He smiled at me as I walked away with Donnie, and my stomach did that little flip, the one that his smiles always seemed to set off in me. I shook my head and yawned.

"Tired?"

I nodded. "I didn't realize it had gotten so late. It's been so long since I've been out dancing this way, I just got caught up in it all I guess. Thank you for bringing me out."

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, I guess every now and then it doesn't hurt to share you with the world."

I smiled as I dug my cell out of my purse. I was hoping that Nick had texted me back. I hadn't heard from him since I left home to come up to New York. I knew things were a bit awkward between us, but it would have been nice to hear from him. No texts showed up in my phone and I shut it down and slid it back into my purse.

"Everything okay? You've been keeping a close eye on that phone this weekend."

I nodded, "yeah, just haven't heard from Nick since I left out yesterday. Nothing big really, he just usually doesn't ignore texts when I send em."

"Maybe he just can't send one back right now."

"Or he just doesn't want to and he's pulling away from me."

Donnie turned to face me in the back of the cab. "Why the hell would he do that? You two are best friends. Anyone can see the connection there. He wouldn't do that."

I shrugged. When we got out of the cab and walked up to the apartment I looked at Donnie. "No, he would right now. Donnie, Thursday night, we went out dancing. We both got wasted drunk."

Inside Donnie looked at me. "And why on earth would that make a difference?"

"Donnie, we… well, me and Nick… we umm. Well we kissed. We kissed and his hands went places he's never gone. We didn't do anything else, I swear, but, I don't know. Maybe it's just too weird for him now. I mean it's not like we meant to or that we'd ever have done it sober. Hell, neither one of us remembered it!"

"So how do you know it happened?" He was looking at the floor.

"He had pictures of it in his phone."

"Hm, well, if that's it then he should get over it and just talk to you."

"Donnie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I mean we aren't dating though, even if it was done on purpose."

"I know, I do, it's fine. Let's get some sleep." He walked to the bathroom and I changed clothes and climbed into the bed before he was back out.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

OLIVIA

"Wake up sexy lady," Donnie said as he sat down a tray full of a wonderful smelling breakfast in front of me.

"Thank you sir; you always know how to make mornings just a little bit better." I smiled as he kissed my nose.

He smiled and sat down with the sports section of the newspaper on the other side of the bed. "OH! That reminds me," I said. "I have tickets to the Falcon's game in Atlanta next Sunday. I would love it if you'd come with me."

"Really, you sure about that? You know something like a game is one hell of a way to not keep us private, right?" he said.

"I know, but if you wore a hat, shades, whatever, it'd be okay. Besides, I didn't exactly get us sideline seats. I want you to go with me."

He smiled that smile that could stop my heart it seemed at time and said, "Sounds like a good time."

I smiled up at him and knew now that I had something to look forward too.

WILL

"Dude, are you serious? You can't do that to her, she's been looking forward to this game with you all week long."

Donnie shook his head and I wanted to shake him. "Look, I have work that has been put off, but I can't put it off anymore. She's going to understand. I'll explain it all to her then if you want to show up and go with her, go ahead. I know she's not going to want to go alone."

I just shook my head, amazed that it seemed like he was looking for a reason to not go with Olivia to the game. "Have you mentioned it to her at all yet?"

He stopped in midstride and didn't even turn around at first. "What do you care Will? No, I haven't, but I promise you she will be just fine. She's my girl, I think I know her well enough to know that she's gonna be okay with this alright?"

I held my hands up. "You're right man, she's your girl, and you know her better than I do." I smirked and walked away. I hated that I wanted to punch him in his arrogant face, and I hated that he made me think he was so arrogant. If he knew her at all he'd know that she would be upset as hell by him not showing up Sunday.

5 Hours Later….

"Will! What are you doing here? Is Donnie with you?"

"Nope, it's just me, and I thought I'd come down and see what the south is all about. Thought some company might be a good thing too. You know how lonely that big old city can get."

She laughed that laugh that absolutely made my stomach go insane and my brain turn to mush. I had finally given up fighting off what I felt around her. I had figured out that I had a thing for this girl and as much as I knew I shouldn't, there were some things you just couldn't help.

"Oh, I'm so rude! Please come on in. Do you want some sweet tea or anything?"

"Actually I would love some thank you." I stepped into her house and looked around. It was exactly what I expected of her home. It was trendy and modern, but welcoming and lived in. There were pictures everywhere you looked of her kids, her and friends, even her and Donnie. Her fridge was covered in children's artwork. I wondered briefly if Donnie had ever set foot in this house. One look around and you would know the owner. You could feel her passion of life and the depth of her love for those in her life.

"Here you go," she said handing me a glass of sweet tea, a mason jar actually. I wasn't surprised at all. "Come on in the living room. The kids are downstairs playing in their play room. They'll be up in a few minutes to head to bed. I was just reading up on school work."

"This place is so completely you. I like it."

She smiled and might have even blushed. "Thank you."

She sat cross legged on her sofa and smiled as the kids came rushing into the room. Well, one came running with the other in her arms. "Lilah, say hello to Will, my friend from New York," Olivia said to her daughter.

Lilah put the baby into his mother's arms and walked over to me and extended her hand. "Hi there Will, are you friends with Donnie too?"

I grinned at her very adult show of shaking my hand and said, "I am actually. I work with him on his tv show."

She nodded and smiled as if that made everything okay. She looked so much like her mother it was like they were twins born into different generations. "Well, it was nice meeting you Mr. Will, maybe I will see you again when I'm not headed to bed."

"Maybe so," I smiled back. "Goodnight, and be sure you have sweet dreams, okay?" She grinned and nodded as she ran up the stairs ahead of her mom and brother.

OLIVIA

When I had opened the door and saw Will standing there I hated to admit that my stomach clenched up like crazy. I didn't know what it was but it always seemed to do that lately. I was surprised he had come down to visit, without a call or anything, but it was a pleasant surprise. I always enjoyed time with Will. He was fast becoming my best friend, filling the shoes of one who had walked out of my life simply because I had fallen in love with someone else. I tucked the baby into his crib then headed into Lilah's room. She was already in bed and had the covers pulled up around her little shoulders.

"Goodnight Lilah, I love you."

"Goodnight mama, I love you too." I turned her light out and started to ease her door closed. "Mama, Will, that guy downstairs?"

"Yes, honey, what about him?"

"He's awfully handsome, and he likes you."

"Go to sleep. He does not, we are only friends. Goodnight, I love you."

I closed her door and shook my head. I couldn't believe her thinking that Will liked me. She'd been in the same room with him less than five minutes. Oh how young minds worked!

I walked back into the living room and Will stood. "I think I'm going to call a cab and get to the hotel. I have an early flight back to the city in the morning and should rest."

"Don't be silly, I have a guest room here, let me just go make sure there's fresh sheets on the bed and it's yours. In case you forgot, I have an early flight to that big old city too." I smiled and headed to the guest room to be sure it was in order. Walking back into the living room I noticed how at home, how comfortable he looked sitting there on my couch watching the television. I shook my head, unsure of what kind of games it was trying to play.

"Alright, the bed is ready whenever you are. I think I'm going to watch a movie before I head to bed though. You can stay if you want. Of course I understand if you're tired."

"No, I'm okay for now; I can watch whatever you want to." He smiled up at me and my stomach knotted up again.

I smiled and sat down, flipping through the movie channels until I found The Notebook. Donnie wasn't a huge fan of this movie and always found something else to do when I wanted to watch it. "Is this okay?"

"Absolutely."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapt. 20

Olivia

I stretched out and found that I couldn't stretch all that far. I must have left my door open and Rockstar had crawled in bed last night. I opened my eyes up and saw that I was still on the couch in the living room. I rubbed the morning grit from my eyes and blinked against the sun.

"Oh hell," I murmured. "Will, wake up! Time to get ready to head out to the plane. Let's go!"

He raised his head from the arm of the couch. "Ouch! Damn, I have a massive neck ache." He glanced at the couch and the sleeping arrangements from the night before. "Well, I guess of course when you sleep on the arm of a sofa a neck ache is bound to happen huh?"

I laughed, I couldn't help it, because my neck was sore too. "I guess so. And I guess we were both more tired than we had thought."

His voice got soft and he looked away. "I guess so. We'd better get ready to head out." He stood then and headed to the bathroom.

I looked down the hallway where he had disappeared to and wondered what was going on with his reaction all of a sudden. I shrugged my shoulders and headed to the kitchen. Coffee and eggs with toast was definitely in order. In fact I thought, I'll make up some French toast today. It had been a long time since I had done that. When he entered the kitchen a few minutes later I was placing thick fluffy slices of French toast, lightly dusted with powdered sugar onto two plates and the coffee was dripping out its last drops.

"Breakfast huh? It's been a while since I've had a home cooked breakfast and not one that I picked up at the corner café. Thank you Olivia, it smells delicious."

Maybe I had imagined the change in his attitude before, because he was just his same old self again now. I smiled at him and poured him a cup of coffee "Sugar, milk, cream, or do you take yours black?"

"Black, please, but really you don't have to do that, I can get it."

"I really don't mind Will. It's nothing. I'm at home in a kitchen, it's my space. I like doing this. Sit and eat. There's more if you want it."

We finished up our breakfast in near silence before we headed out to the airfield to catch the plane that always picked me up, like clockwork, every Friday morning.

DONNIE

"There you are ma! I've missed you this week."

"Have you? You know you can always come down and visit again. You never do that anymore it seems like."

"I know, I do, and I will again soon. I'm just…"

"So busy with work, I know Donnie, I do. Speaking of, don't you have to get back on set?"

I glanced at my watch then back at her face. For the first time since I had met her I realized that I couldn't read her face, that I had no clue what she was thinking. "I wish right now that I didn't have to, but I do. Are you going to hang around, or were you going to head back to the apartment?"

She shrugged and looked away quickly. "I'll text you and let you know." And with that whispered comment she walked away without another look back.

Just as she disappeared Will came around the corner. He walked up to me and stopped. "Did you tell her about the football game?"

"Not yet, I haven't had time since she did just get to set and I have to head back to shoot. Why?"

He shrugged and said, "Oh I don't know, I just figured with the tears making their way down her cheeks and the way she wouldn't look at anyone on her way outta here that you had. But hey, of course I was wrong, I mean you said she isn't gonna mind at all, and she is after all your girl. You know her better than I would. I'm sure that was nothing at all," he said with a thumb over his shoulder in the direction that she had left in.

"Tears? She wasn't crying when she walked away."

With a pat on my back he shrugged. "Yeah, I'm probably wrong about that too, it was more than likely just allergies. See ya on set D."

I watched him walk away and wondered what the hell had gotten into him. I took my cell phone out of my pocket and sent a text to Olivia.

::You okay babe? Will said that you seemed upset.::

I slid the phone back in my pocket and headed out to take my place and get ready for scene. I wanted to wait for her reply, but I just didn't have the time right then. I'd keep a check on my phone as much as I could, even though I was sure that Will had to of been wrong, she wasn't crying.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapt 21

I didn't text him back all day. I just really didn't feel like it would matter I guess. He wouldn't have replied, he wouldn't have even checked the messages. He's just too busy. I guess I knew this was bound to happen though when I decided to get wrapped up in this relationship.

Funny enough, even though Donnie couldn't even text me back to be sure that I was indeed okay, Will text a few times. The first two I just let it go, but then he sent the third and I replied.

::Olivia, I saw you when you left today. I know that you were upset and even though I don't know why you had tears on your cheeks, I'm sorry for whatever it was. If you need to talk, I'm here, anytime. You have the number.::

::Thank you Will, I cannot tell you just how much that means right now. I'm okay for now I think. Just being a girl I guess. I'm sure things will get better this weekend. Oh, and don't tell D that I talked to you okay?::

A few minutes later he replied back, :: I definitely won't, if you don't want me to. Hopefully you're right about the weekend, just remember, I'm here to talk or whatever if you need anything.::

I read his reply and smiled to myself. He was one of the most caring and kind friends that I had. I never expected to find friends that were so amazing up here in the big city, but I was thankful that I had.

DONNIE

"Will, have you heard from Olivia? Did you ever text her?"

"Yeah, I sent her a message but never got anything back from her, sorry man." He walked away without another word.

I took out my phone for the first time since I had sent her the text earlier. Nothing at all from her and now I was starting to get more than a little bit worried.

"Hey, Jennifer," I called out when I saw her. "About that beer, let me get a raincheck okay? I need to get back to the apartment tonight."

"Sure Donnie, no problem."

I hurried out to the street and instead of flagging down a cab I walked the few blocks to the apartment. I was hoping that she would be there when I got in.

About a block before I got home there was the corner florist stand, so on impulse I stopped and bought some flowers hoping that they would put a smile on her face. I opened up the front door and called out her name. No answer.

"Livia, you here ma? I'm home!"

"Do you have to yell! I was trying to nap, damn!"

I stopped and waited for her to make it to the hallway. She was definitely in a grumpy mood, and it was going to be up to me to figure out why that was.

OLIVIA

There he stood flowers in his hands and a sheepish look on his face. I almost felt bad for him, but the key word was almost. I really couldn't believe that he had no idea that I was feeling like the other woman, when in reality I was the only woman.

"Did you get the flowers for the office, or wait, are those for the restaurant?"

His eyes squinted in confusion and he weighed his words before speaking. "No, they were for you, but of course if you don't want them I could use them for something else I'm sure."

"Why would you buy me flowers? Because maybe you think I'm pissed, or hurt, or something that you just can't put your finger on and the flowers will make it all better if they come with slick words, crazy promises, and kisses that light my toes on fire?"

He laid the flowers on the counter and came toward me his arms out. "Olivia, what have I done that has got you so upset? If you just tell me, I'll fix it, but right now I won't lie, I'm clueless."

"Yeah, I guess you're just too busy to see it. Maybe when taping wraps up you can take a minute out to think on it."

"Is this about work? Is that it? You're mad cause I'm working too much or something? Olivia, I told you that this is just a busy time and it's going to blow over and be done soon. It will, I promise!"

He tried to wrap his arms around me and I pulled away. "Please, don't make those promises; because this is you, you're always working on something. There's always going to be the next big project or whatever. It's okay, I just need some time right now I guess to be alone with my feelings. I'm sure that you have some work to do to occupy you while I go out for a walk though, right?"

I pushed by him and grabbed my purse from the table as I headed out the door.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapt. 22

"Will, I hate to bother you, but do you think that you could meet me somewhere? I need to talk, but I need someone who understands. I know you do."

"Of course, where should I meet you? Are you still at the apartment?"

"No, I'm out walking right now. Maybe in the park? Would that be okay?"

"Give me ten minutes, I'm on my way."

WILL

Why on earth she called me to talk to her, why she thought I understood, I just didn't know. She obviously had no idea how she affected me, and I was happy to keep it that way. I was also happy to go to her if she needed me. Grabbing my wallet I was out the door in less than five minutes and at the park in less than ten.

"Olivia, hey, you alright?"

When she looked up I could tell that she had been crying again, and it infuriated me that someone could have such a special person, and yet make them feel like they weren't worth their time. I sat down beside her on the park bench and resisted the urge to wrap my arms around her, pull her close to me, and tell her it was all going to work out and be okay.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

She was silent for a minute and I thought that she had changed her mind about talking. "He came in from work today with flowers. He woke me up from the nap I was enjoying yelling for me. I guess it just set me off. He has no clue why I'm so irritable, though I think he actually does know it's his schedule or whatever. He asked me what he had done so wrong, so I told him that when he got a break he could sit down and think it over and he'd probably be able to figure it out. After all, he's a smart guy."

"I'm sorry Olivia, I really am. Do you think it might help if I talk to him? I mean, sometimes guys can get through to other guys easier than anyone."

"No, he knows the issue, it is up to him fix it, and really he is the only one who can."

"I wish that there was some way that I could help. If I could I would shake him til he saw what he was doing, what he was messing up."

She smiled up at me from where she was lying on the ground. "Why are you still single? You're too good to be single ya know? Girls would kill for a guy like you."

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled down at her, hoping that what I really wanted to say wasn't written on my face. "Maybe it's just never been the right time, or I've just never found the right one. Or maybe I've never found the right one at the right time. Who knows, but I'm okay."

She got a wistful look in her eyes. "Well, when you do, she'd better know how lucky she is, and she'd better not hurt you. I'd have to cut her."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll be sure to mention it to her when she comes along."

OLIVIA

He held his hand out to me and the smile he wore seemed different. It almost seemed as though it was sad, but not. Like it was lonely, yet just fine, like there were things to be said, but that I shouldn't hear. I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet.

"Will, are you okay? Is there something on your mind?"

He shook his head and suddenly the look in his smile that I had seen just moments before was gone. "I'm fine, and trust me, even though there is plenty on mind, you don't wanna hear it all." He winked down at me and then shifted his head so that he was staring up into the sky. "It's a beautiful day, how about we grab a sandwich and have a little picnic?"

I nodded and grinned. As we walked I fell quiet. "Okay you, now you tell me, what's on your mind? Hello, Olivia, you there?" He had stopped walking and was staring at me with a questioning look in his eye. "Hey, you alright," he asked as he reached out and touched my arm.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I guess I just had a lot on my mind…"

"You know I don't mind listening."

I shook my head as I processed the thoughts that had been running through my brain at speeds that made me dizzy. "No, it was nothing really. Just that I'm really lucky to have a friend like you. And that at least when it comes to Donnie, I have the game to look forward too."

Will hung his head and let out an exasperated sigh. "Let's get that sandwich."

"What? What is it?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, let's eat. I'm hungry."

"Today was a dinner scene taping, so I'm sure you're far from hungry. What was the head shake and sigh all about Will?"

"Ask Donnie. Ask him how much he's looking forward to the game."

His words sunk in and hit me as though he had physically punched me with his own fist. Donnie was going to back out of the game. I felt tears puddling in my eyes and I willed them to not fall, not here, not in front of Will. I sucked in air, feeling like I'd forgotten to breath. How could he do this?

"Will, could you just walk me home? I'm not really hungry after all."

"Olivia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I really didn't. Believe me, that is the last thing I'd ever want to do."

"You didn't do anything, I promise. I just think I need to go back to the apartment."

He slid his arm around my shoulders and we began walking. I fought off the tears until we said goodbye at the door.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapt.23

Olivia

I walked into the apartment and went straight to the bedroom, ignoring Donnie's hello. My only mistake was not closing the door.

"Ma, what is it? What's wrong?"

Silently I tossed my clothes back into my suitcase and searched for something, unsure of what, anything to distract me from the man in the doorway. When I couldn't avoid it any longer I grabbed my carry on that I always traveled with and pushed by him into the living room.

"Hey," Donnie said coming up behind me, grabbing my elbow to turn me around so that I was facing him. I avoided his eyes at all costs. "What the hell is going Olivia? You leave here upset and come back tossing you things in a bag and heading toward the door? What the hell is going on, please talk to me?"

"When were you going to tell me?" My voice was barely a whisper, I wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't of heard my words at all. I watched his face fall, and I knew he'd heard. I didn't like the way he reacted to the question. It only made me wonder what he thought I meant.

"What are you talking about? Tell you about what?"

"Don't play dumb, please, we both know you're far from that."

"I really don't know what the hell you're talking about."

He was holding my arms now, not letting me run away like I itched to do. "When were you going to tell me that you're not coming to the game?"

His breath hissed out between his teeth and he released my arms to run his hands through his hair. As badly as I wanted to turn and walk away I remained still, waiting for him to answer me. "Liv, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't think Will would tell you, I was going to. I promise."

"Will didn't tell me! I mentioned how happy I was that at least, in your busy schedule you'd managed to pencil me in and that no matter how busy you stayed at least I had the game to look forward to. His face is as readable as yours is at times. YOU should have told me! What, what were you going to do Donnie? Wait and call Sunday while I waited on you and say you were just so sorry but work came up? Don't get me wrong, I love your passion, but I've said it before and damn it I'm saying it again, I WANT TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF YOUR PASSION!"

I was shaking and the tears were threatening to spill over again. He reached out for me and I stepped back, out of his reach. "Don't touch me. Please, just don't do it. I'm sure it would interfere with your schedule anyway. I need to go. I need time away from you to figure this out. Maybe for you to figure it out, what you want in this. Then again maybe we should both just stop pretending that the sex is enough and admit that there's something missing, even if we can't put our fingers on it." By the end of my rant my voice was back to the barely there whisper. I picked my bag up and looked at him one more time before heading out the door. The look on his face said he knew something was missing too, even if he didn't know what it was. I walked out without another word and called Eric, Donnie's pilot on standby, from my cell to arrange the ride home.

NICK

"Are you sure that you're okay? I know how upsetting it has to be on you. Hell I probably know more than anyone how much you've dreamed of that damn man. I just can't believe you haven't talked to me about all of this before now."

"I know Nick, and I'm sorry. I was hoping that it would all turn around and things would work out better but, it just hasn't. He's getting busier every single second. I think maybe if he slowed down we could find what was missing, fix it and have this amazing relationship, but the fact is our relationship will never be as important as work."

"I love you Olivia, I really do. I hate that this is going on and I can't make it right for you."

"It's okay, I promise. Love you too."

She hung up without another word but the hurt was there, heavy in the air. I immediately dialed Donnie. "What the hell is going on with you and Liv?" I didn't even give him a chance to speak when he answered.

"I'm working on us, don't worry about it."

"You promised you wouldn't hurt her Donnie, and damn it she's fucking hurt!"

"You think I don't know! I saw her face before she walked out of the apartment yesterday. I saw the pain and I felt the guilt because I knew I was the reason it was there!"

I'd give the guy credit, his voice cracked; he seemed genuinely upset about it all. "Donnie, fix this. She wants it to work with you, but you got to slow down, fit her in to your life. Before she walks out of it for good."

I hung up and headed to find AJ for a long overdue talk.

WILL

She opened the door in sweat pants and an old off the shoulder UGA sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head in a messy looped sort of ponytail, and her feet were bare. She had never looked so damn beautiful to me. The smile that took over her face only added to that beauty.

"Will!"

She threw her arms around my neck and I wrapped my arms around her waist and against my will I inhaled the scent of her shampoo, smelled her body wash, and I couldn't fight the feelings inside of me a minute longer. I was forced to admit to myself that I was head over heels in love, even if I couldn't tell her.

Stepping back I grinned at her. "So can I come in?"

"Yes! Of course! Please." She stepped back and smiled up at me warmly. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you had an extra ticket for the game tomorrow, thought I would see if I could sweet talk it out of you."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapt. 24

WILL

I watched as her eyes fell and I prayed that I hadn't said anything in the wrong way.

"How long ago did he ask you to go with me to the game?"

Her voice was barely a whisper as we sat on her couch. "Friday, when you left the studio actually. I told him it wasn't my place and that he needed to be here."

"And look who showed up…"

I reached out and pulled her closer to me. "I'm sorry Livia. I really am. I can go if you'd rather."

Looking up at me, though she didn't have far to look since I wasn't all that much taller than she was, she smiled. "No, stay, I'll get you something to eat. Sit."

I smiled and took a seat, glad that she hadn't sent me away.

OLIVIA

I watched as Will walked into the living room and I tried not to let my disappointment show. It wasn't his fault after all, and he was in as awkward of a position as I was really. Closing the door I headed into the kitchen.

"You want a beer?"

"Sure, that'd be great, thanks."

I grabbed two bottles of Bud and headed back to the living room. I handed him his beer and lowered myself down into the large overstuffed chair that I loved curling up in. Tucking my feet underneath my body I sat and took a long drink from the cold beer.

The only sound in the room was Zac Brown quietly drifting from the cd player in the corner. It had been the soundtrack to the book I was reading, the one that lay abandon on the coffee table. Even with the music, the silence between me and Will was so deafening that even Zac seemed to be muted.

I was staring out into the darkness just beyond my window, lost in thought. I think that I was so deep in the thoughts that were rushing through my head that I forgot that I wasn't alone. The sound of Will's bottle clanking on the table startled me out of my trance. I looked at him, blinked to clear the fog that seemed to be clouding my brain, and looked back to the window.

"I know that you weren't expecting me, and I know that it wasn't me that you wanted to knock on your door tonight. I'm sorry, so deeply sorry and unfortunately I don't know what else to say. If you'd prefer I can go, just say the word and I will."

I turned back to him and felt my expression soften. "No, I don't want you to leave, and there is no need for you to be sorry. You've not done anything wrong at all. I knew he wasn't going to be here, and yet I still let myself foolishly believe that he'd show up. I guess I thought that maybe just this one time I might mean more than the hours of work that never seem to end. I was wrong."

He stood to his feet and grabbed the empty beer bottle in one swift motion. A pillow fell to the floor as he turned his back to me. "I need another beer, do you mind?" He walked away before I could answer.

WILL

Hearing the pain in her voice, knowing how much she was hurting because some idiot couldn't seem to get his head out of his ass long enough to see how much he had pissed me off. Opening the fridge I took out another beer and ripped the cap off of it, let it hit my lips and pour down my throat without a single thought. It was half gone before I sat it down. If she was mine, hell if she was mine she'd know how much she mattered I thought to myself. Then just as soon as I thought it another thought followed, she's not mine, and she's too caught up in Donnie to see that someone who cares and loves her is right here, someone who would leave the work just to be near her. No, she wasn't mine, and never would be.

I finished off the beer with one more drink and tossed it before taking another out of the fridge and turning to head back to the living room. I was almost at the door before I realized that she was standing there watching me, propped on the door frame. She couldn't possibly know how beautiful she was standing there, arms crossed over her chest, ankles crossed, hair falling loose from its messy confines. Her lip was caught between her teeth and her face held so many questions, like a child.

"You're mad." It was more of a statement of fact than a question.

I shook my head, "Not at you, never at you."

"Then what?"

"Nothing really, just stupid stuff I guess" She gave me that look that I swear all females must be born with knowing, the one that says she knows I'm lying and she's waiting on me to spill it. "You're my friend Olivia, a good one, and I hate to see you hurting, knowing that it wouldn't take a lot to wipe that hurt away, and that no matter how much I'd love to take it from you I can't because only one person can take it away and damn it he's blind to it all."

She shrugged her tanned shoulders and gave a weak smile. "I'm fine. Well, I will be. Please, just smile. Somehow your smile always makes it okay."

I couldn't help but smile at that. I walked to where she stood and hugged her tight. "We should get some sleep, early day of football and tailgating tomorrow, right?"

She nodded and smiled up at me, the first time I'd seen her smile tonight. My stomach went into acrobat mode and my heart was beating so loud that I wondered how she couldn't hear it. I headed to the living room and laid back on the couch, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.


	25. A Big Thank You

Okay guys, not a chapter here, but a quick THANK YOU for not forgetting Olivia and her story! Things have been crazy around here, a new job, school, two kids, and all that comes with it all! It makes it hard to find time to write and let's not even talk about the writers block I've been having these days. I think the block is broken though, at least I hope and pray, and I'm hoping to be able to update even more. Still, leave me your feedback and ideas, thoughts, and what you like and don't like! It encourages me to keep on writing and who knows, might even feed new ideas and life into the story, or spur a new one! Thank you so much for reading and I promise if you be patient with me I'll get this story out there, and more!


	26. Chapter 25

Chapt 25

Olivia

I woke up and didn't even want to get out of bed. My eyes were puffy; a sure sign that I'd cried myself to sleep. Unfortunately that was all too common these days. My head still throbbed from the tears that poured last night after I closed my door with every intention of going to sleep. I really and truly just wanted to curl back up and go back to sleep. But no, I had to get my lazy butt up and in the shower. Then I had to go fix a nice breakfast. Hopefully Will could forgive my attitude from last night. If I was him though, I'd have walked right back out the door as soon as it had been opened. Try as I might last night I couldn't hide my disappointment when I saw him standing there instead of Donnie. Deep down I'd know that Donnie wasn't going to show up, but still some hopeful 9 year old child inside me had held out hope.

I finally stood and headed to the shower. I'd have to apologize and hope it was accepted. I can't believe I acted that way. I'd barely spoken to him all night it seemed. He was just being kind and coming to keep me company, he knew how much I'd been looking forward to this game. I owed him really. Climbing out of the shower I put my hair up in a towel and slipped into some yoga pants and a tank top and plodded my way to the kitchen.

I stopped short in the kitchen and stared at the enormous bouquet of bright pink and orange peonies sitting on the bar. They were beautiful but where had they come from? It was a Sunday, florists didn't deliver on Sunday's and I knew that. I searched for and finally found an envelope. I took it gently from the petals and pulled the card out.

"Olivia, I'm so very sorry that I couldn't make it down there for this game. I promise to you that I will make it up to you soon. I love you ma. Donnie."

I so badly wanted to be angry at him. I wanted to call him up and tell him that flowers didn't make it okay that he couldn't work me into his busy schedule. But no, instead I smiled and picked the vase up and carried the bouquet to the table. I stuck the card on the fridge in the midst of childhood artwork and set about preparing breakfast.

As I was plating the food up and getting it on the table Will walked into the room, sleep still in his eyes, hair tousled, and wearing nothing more than pajama bottoms. My stomach clenched and I wondered if I was getting sick. He smiled and said a sleepy good morning and walked over to the refrigerator.

"Guess you saw the flowers? They came about two hours ago, I took em and went back to sleep. I was exhausted." His eyes found the card on the fridge and his lips curled up in a snarling smirk. "Leave it to the almighty Donnie to have flowers delivered at 6 in the morning on a Sunday." He muttered shaking his head and pouring a glass of orange juice.

I sat down and nodded toward his plate. "Come sit down and eat. I know you have to be hungry, after all I was a horrible hostess and didn't feed you last night."

He sat down and took a bite or two and then he mostly pushed his food around. The silence at the table weighed heavy in the air. When his fork clattered to the plate I looked up to see him shove his chair back and him stand.

"Maybe I'm not that hungry after all. I think I'll just go and shower and get ready for the game." Without waiting for a reply he stomped off down the hall to the guest bathroom. What on earth had gotten into him?


	27. Just a note here y'all!

Just a fast post to say that I have a new story going on here to, so be sure to check it out! It's a little different from this one, but I couldn't find a MUSIC category for it so I wanted to make sure you guys give it a read! Only one chapter up so far, but it's a work in progress.

And no worries, I haven't forgotten about this story or my loyal readers for it. I'm still working on it too, but this other story has been clogging my brain and blocking anything else I was doing! So check out BEST OF ME, A BG STORY and as always, keep the feedback coming in!


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